Hypothetical Fish

Want to hear a funny story? Sure you do.

Last night my husband and I were hanging out relaxing after spending the day with my parents, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousins. Josh was playing a videogame and I was scrolling Pinterest.

I stumbled across this really unique fish bowl. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. The shape was the typical fish bowl, but the bottom came up to form what looked like little mountains. The whole thing was glass and just caught my eye.

It got me thinking that Josh and I should get a fish. Then my mind really went to work…

I decided that we would get a fish and put him in the fish bowl I saw on Pinterest. Then since we tend to go away periodically on weekends, we could purchase a food dispenser that was on a timer. That way even though we were gone the fish would still be cared for.

Then my brain did a number on me. What if the food dispenser didn’t work? I visualized us returning home from a weekend away to a dead fish. Enter guilt… I would let the fish die?! That poor little fish wouldn’t be feel loved if we were gone and then it wouldn’t get fed. The poor fish would die feeling hungry and unloved! (Yes, my brain really did take this imaginary trip).

The worst part of it all is that I genuinely got sad. Not like, that’s sad so we shouldn’t get a fish. But actual tears formed. I started crying over a fish that I didn’t even actually own!!!!!

Josh turned to me from his game to see that I was crying and asked what was wrong. So I told him. I walked my husband through the same emotional rollercoaster my brain took me on.

Guess what? He LAUGHED. To the point I think he almost had tears in his eyes. He couldn’t even breathe! He kept speaking in half sentences and just rolled in laughter. He said between laughs, “You’re a bad fish owner!” and “I’m sorry about your fish we don’t even have!”

At that moment, I recognized how insane I sounded. I don’t even know how I was able to get that worked up over a hypothetical fish. In any case, it was a good laugh for Josh and I so I figured I would share it with you. 

Take the step to follow your dream

For as long as I can remember I have dreamt of writing a book. I think that the desire came when I had an amazing English teacher in Jr. High. She used to give us super cool journaling assignments that let our creativity flow and it was from then on that I have felt the need to become an author.

Of course as the years went on, my desire to write fiction has diminished and I have felt that I should now write about my experiences. In particular my experiences in love, dating, and marriage from the perspective of a Christian woman. I feel that it is important to share with other women, especially those embarking on the beginning of their dating lives, that what society projects is not necessarily fact.

Obviously the years of me desiring to write a book did not result in any fruitful action. As I sit here I am not a published author or even in the process of seeking out publishers. I have let my dream of being an author take a back seat figuring that I will someday achieve this goal.

Sure I have made weak attempt at beginning to write my book, but in reality each attempt kept me further from reaching my goal. This blog for instance, was supposed to be the start of my book, but the blog aspect took over instead.

Yesterday I had an epiphany. If I continue to put off writing a book, I am not going to ever find the time. There will always be something I could do that can take precedents over my dream. So I made the decision to get started.

Last night while Josh was at basketball, I began my book. I now have 2 pages written. They aren’t by any means good, but for the first time in years I have been able to sit down and begin putting my thoughts onto paper. I am now 2 pages closer to achieving my dream.

Sub-par cooking

I have been in a funk lately. My cooking has been absolutely horrible!

It all began on Saturday. Josh and I were going to have a movie night so I decided to try something new. I made empanadas anticipating them to be similar to the ones I have bought in the freezer section. Boy was I disappointed. The texture was off, the flavor was lacking, and I was not happy. Thankfully, they were still edible.

Unfortunately, the days to follow, followed suit.

Sunday evening I made chili.

Monday’s dinner was honey glazed salmon.

Tuesday we had fish filet sandwiches.

Wednesday I made enchiladas.

Not one of those meals was anything worth mentioning. Since I began cooking after getting married, I have been riding pretty high. My meals have been random creations that always seemed to turn out amazing. So this week of sub-par meals is driving me INSANE.

I voiced my concern and frustration to Josh last night after forcing down the last bit of enchilada on my plate. He initially laughed, but realized I was not joking. So he looked back on the week of meals with me and pointed out that every meal I was trying something different; maybe the sauce was a different brand, or the recipe was brand new. He came to the conclusion that I needed to cook a recipe that is in my wheel-house and take a break from the random meal attempts.

So tonight I am doing just that. I am preparing a chicken pot pie using a recipe I have used for years. Fingers crossed I don’t mess this up!

Thank a Vet

Today is November 11, 2015. Veteran’s Day. So go thank a Veteran.

Not just today, but every day. If you see a man or woman in uniform, thank them.

You don’t know their story. You don’t know if they are stationed in your area. You don’t know the last time they saw their loved ones. You don’t know the major life events they have missed. The absolute least you can do is thank them for their service and sacrifice.

Their willingness to devote years of their life to military service is a blessing to each and every one of us as Americans. The things they are willing to do and the horrors they see are the same things that make our daily lives better.

Our freedom rests on the work the military does. It is because our military protects that freedom that we are able to do the things we enjoy, and speak out against things we don’t agree with.

So when you see that man or woman in uniform, go ahead and shake their hand. Thank them for their service. Remind them that the people they are risking their lives for appreciate them.

Things I'm not good at...

I struggle with hobbies. In particular, I struggle with yarn centered hobbies.

Several years ago, I began to crochet. I finished a scarf and from that point on figured that I could make all kinds of yarn projects.  Thank was not the case.

The very next time I picked up yarn and a crochet needle, things went bad.

After several attempts to get my project going, I was BEYOND frustrated. My temper flared and I took that stupid bundle of yarn and needle, opened the garage door, and whipped it out of the house. I then slammed the door and walked away.

Sometime later, my parents came home to find the yarn draped across the garage. That was fun to explain.

This crafting incident has become quite the joke amongst our family. Anytime I pick up another bundle of yarn, I get asked how long it will be before it goes flying across the room.

Last week in particular, I almost got to the point of no return. I was sitting with Josh on our couch. He was working on homework and I was creating a scarf with this amazing blue yarn. For some reason the scarf started to look different. The first 12 inches were different from the section I was working on. I could not figure out why.

I literally only know 1 stitch. How on Earth could the scarf be changing?

Our apartment was silent and all of a sudden, the frustration crept up. “BLEEP BLEEP.” Josh turns to me, sees that I am frustrated by my craft, and LAUGHS.

I don’t think I will ever live down my inability to relax and craft.

Step away from those opinions... form your own life.

With articles like, “Twenty Things to Do in Your Twenties,” “8 Reasons Why You Should Be Single In Your Twenties,” and the countless others, it’s easy to get caught up. Then log into your favorite social media site and see the pictures of various “friends” and their “glamorous” lives.

Now look at your own life. Chances are after seeing those articles and scrolling through those pictures, you feel pretty inadequate. Why is it that just a few moments surfing the internet can make you feel like your life isn’t being lived to its full potential?

Whether it be social media, the news, internet, or magazines, there is always someone trying to tell us how we should live our lives. People in their twenties are often a major target of this, and it’s just got to stop.

My husband and I started dating when we were 18 years old and have been together ever since. We spent a solid chunk of our dating lives saving money because we knew that we wanted to get married and have a future together. That meant that our lives were INCREDIBLY different from those around us.

We had friends who were single and enjoyed an eventful social life, and others who traveled around the country/world with no regard for the future. It was hard being around all of that. Of course there were moments of weakness that we wanted to blow it all, spend money like it didn’t matter on a pointless night out, or jump on a plane to go on an adventure. There were even the times we felt like we were “wrong” for being young and committed. It was super difficult wanting to have those things and choosing to not succumb to the pressure.

It is so easy to be tricked by the “glamorous” lifestyles. Things you never thought about, are now desires because someone online has it, or some goofy article is telling you how to have a fulfilling life. What a bunch of non-sense.

Look into yourself. What do you truly want? Do you want to fall in love and get married? Then do it! Do you want to travel? Then go ahead. Are you career focused and want to get ahead? Then feel free to achieve. This life was not designed to be a cookie-cutter, one size fits all. We were all created with our own set of goals and desires, no two individuals are alike. So why on Earth does anyone have the right to spread their bogus opinion on what your life should look like in your 20’s?

I am 24 years old, married to the man I have been with since I was 18. We want to have a family someday in the not so distant future. We like to go on day trips with no agenda, just to see what we will stumble across. A fun night for us revolves around good food and lots of laughing. We’ve been able to leave the country and do local vacations. I have a great career that has given me unbelievable flexibility, and in a matter of a few months he will be a lawyer. We have an amazing life!

And get this, it’s not because we chose to follow the advice of an article, or chase the lifestyles of people portrayed online. It’s because we are doing what makes us happy and complete. I invite you to do the same.

Learning

Every day God allows me to learn something new about my marriage. Some days I discover a new part that I absolutely adore. Like last night, my husband came home from class and just oozed information about his night. We sat together on the couch, eating dinner and drinking wine while he talked. From the face he made while telling me about his first experience with Thai food, to the legal debates he partook in, I loved every second we had together discussing his evening.

Then there are days that God exposes a weakness in my marriage. It might be an area that we aren’t good at communicating, for example, the budget. (I really hate being on a budget and it causes me a great deal of stress even though I know it is important). Or He may reveal to me a personal weakness, like my stubbornness.

In any case, I am discovering that marriage is a constant learning environment.

God has blessed me with my husband and together as we learn more about each other and ourselves. I know that the beautiful times together will periodically be met with difficult ones. I also know that God is the Cornerstone of our marriage and no matter what experience we are having, He will walk through it with us.

I love my husband and believe that God has anointed our marriage. He is guiding us and I look forward to all the new revelations.