Acts of Love.

There is nothing better than when my husband helps out around the house without being asked.

Yesterday I was exhausted and could barely force myself to accomplish anything, but I managed to get through my day and finish everything I had set out to. I even whipped together a phenomenal salmon dinner for my husband and I to enjoy when he got home.

After we finished eating, I was beginning to be sucked into our couch and had made the mental decision to just tackle the kitchen clean-up in the morning. Without me saying anything about it, Josh got up and began doing the dishes.

As I watched him clean the kitchen: drying dishes, and wiping down the counter, I am unable to tell you how happy I was. Something as simple as Josh taking care of the mess I had created made me melt.

I think that people tend to overlook the simple tasks that can make your spouse feel loved. As a culture we get caught up in what we can buy each other, where we can eat dinner, and goofy things like that. Let me tell you, my husband getting up after a long day at work to help me by doing the kitchen was better than any gift.

Seeing a need and then making the choice to meet it is truly an act of love. Anyone can pass a task on to the next person, but taking the time to do it yourself to ease the load of the one you love; that’s priceless.

Irrational Fear.

Alright, it’s confession time. I am 24 years old and afraid of the dark. Yes, I am aware that the dark is a fear most children have and later grow out of, but for some reason I never did.

Because of my fear I make a point of avoiding horror movies, and don’t listen in on ghost stories. I believe that if you “mess with evil” you invite it into your life, so no Ouija Boards or psychic stuff either. You’d think that since I go out of my way to avoid fueling my fear, that I would be able to overcome it, unfortunately that is not the case.

Thankfully, I have the most wonderful husband in the world who makes me feel safe from the things that go “bump in the night.”

Let me tell you a story about what he is willing to do for his irrational wife…

Josh and I take turns choosing a TV show and then watch it together, for example mine was Scandal. Now that it’s his turn, we are watching The Walking Dead. (Not exactly my idea of awesome and borderlines on the no scary movies line).

One night after watching an episode of The Walking Dead, we were getting ready for bed and just when I was about to be comfortable, a horrible thumping noise started.

The rational side of me started in with, “it’s just the upstairs neighbors,” but it started to sound like it was coming from in our apartment!

I nudged Josh and said I was freaked out.

My adorable man got out of our comfy bed and started an all-out apartment search. He checked all of our closets, the bathroom, and finally discovered the noise was just dishes shifting in our dishwasher.

I know that my fear of the dark is silly but I am so thankful to have a husband who goes out of his way to put my irrational mind at ease.

God's Plan.

One of the coolest things is being able to see how things that were crazy, horrible, scary, or random at the time were used to shape God’s plan. Looking back I can pinpoint the different moments in our lives that brought Josh and I together.

We both grew up in the same small town and even attended the same high school, but managed to not meet each other until senior pictures. It turned out that we had several classes together and shared common interests so once the Fall semester got going we started spending more time together. We goofed off in gym, ate lunch together, and attended Friday night football games. Before I realized it, Josh was my best friend.

Which brings us to two defining events in our lives.

First being Josh’s accident. It was a Wednesday and I hadn’t seen Josh that morning so I just assumed he was late, but when he didn’t show up at lunch I was really disappointed. When I got out of school I sent him a message teasing him about faking sick and ditching me, to which came a shocking reply.

Josh’s mom responded telling me that he was in a severe car accident and had brain surgery and was in the ICU. I called her for the details and was completely shocked. Once he was allowed visitors I went out to see him and it was a crazy sight, not to mention horrible timing to meet his family for the first time.

In the weeks following the accident, I did my best to keep him up to date on school stuff and visited when I could once he was brought home. During that time, we talked almost nonstop. It was definitely a critical point for us and the horrifying accident strengthened our bond.

The next event occurred to me. After about a month had passed from Josh’s accident my family received a call while we were in church that had us leave mid-sermon. We drove out to pick up my friend so that her dad could go with her mom to the hospital. She had collapsed that morning and was already in route to get help.

I spent the day with my friend trying to keep her mind off of the tragedy that had happened in her home and the unease she felt about not knowing how her mom was.

That night was our youth group Christmas Party and since I drove the carpool people began arriving at my house. Before we left we all said a prayer for my friend’s mom who was going to be picked up to go to the hospital.

Josh was going to be my guest that night so once he arrived, I said good bye to my friend and left. The party went like it had in years before until we were all circled together. Our leader had received a call, my friend’s mom didn’t make it. I was devastated and cried into Josh’s shoulder almost non-stop.

The grief I experienced was unlike anything I had ever felt. For days I couldn’t eat and I would just walk out of class crying.

One night in particular, I couldn’t sleep. I was overcome with grief and I felt like I had given my friend false hope for her mom’s condition. It was more than I could handle, so I laid in bed crying and talking to Josh. It was so late that I finally told him he could get some sleep, but he insisted on staying up until he knew I fell asleep.

These two horrific events were complete tragedies that shook both Josh and I. However, looking back at them, they played an intricate part of our developing love story. God uses ugly things for His Glory. It truly is amazing.

I love you more.

In our just over a month of marriage I can already recognize that our faith is going to have to be a choice we make every day. It is so easy to be wrapped up in the things we have going on and the typical tasks that come with being adults, leaving our faith on the wayside.

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that Josh and I are committed to a weekly Bible Study that we do together, and our DVD series finally arrived! Last night was our first session and I have to say that I loved it!

The series we are doing is called, “I Love You More,” by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott. There are six, fifteen minute sessions that walk you through how to enable your marriage to strengthen in the midst of everyday problems. Which gets me excited because I am not naïve to think we won’t encounter problems, having this series makes me think that we will simply be prepared to face them together and grow closer as a result.

A cool aspect of this is that the video is small group style, so you get to watch and listen to the interactions of about six couples during each segment. Each couple is at a various phase in their marriage and it brings new outlooks to the situations discussed.

Josh and I watched the first session and I can already say that we are thoroughly enjoying it. I believe that we will be able to strengthen our marriage by implementing the things we learn throughout this series. I also believe that Josh and I will grow together in Christ by making these studies a regular part of our marriage.

By us choosing to have Sunday night as our “Bible Study Night,” we are creating a routine within our marriage that will provide us with focus each week to further ensure that we are keeping our marriage Christ-centered.

~The picture below is from our wedding ceremony. Instead of a candle or sand, we did a Unity Cross to signify Christ being the center of our marriage. Super cool. Highly Recommend. 

Oops.

Have you ever had a moment with your significant other where you say something that presents two doors for them to walk through. If they choose to go through one door, it’s an ego boost, and if they mistakenly choose the other, it doesn’t end so well.

Today Josh and I had one of those moments.

He was getting ready to go back to work after his lunch break and I was walking him to the door. He grabbed my sides to tickle me and I responded with, “Don’t grab my belly fat!”

That my friends is the moment I was referring to. My comment presented two doors to Josh.

Let’s review what the correct response to my statement would be.

“No honey, you don’t have belly fat!” End scene. He goes to work and I have a smile on my face because my husband thinks I’m skinny. Everyone wins, especially me.

Now I will share with you what actually happened.

Josh grabbed my sides to tickle me to which I exclaimed, “Don’t grab my belly fat!” Without even skipping a beat my husband says “OK.” Then continued making his way to the door. Needless to say I was kind of shocked.

I looked at him and said, “Really.” Which of course made him pause to replay our last exchange and soon enough we were both laughing.

Moments like these are truly hilarious. There is nothing malicious about an exchange like this, it truly is an oversight. These exchanges with my husband make me laugh and I hope we always have them.

Surprise!

I LOVE SURPRISES!!! There is nothing better than catching someone off guard and doing something nice for them, and my husband is no exception to that. Unfortunately I do not always get to see my surprise ideas through…

You see, while I love surprises, I really suck at keeping secrets. When I plan to surprise someone I tend to get insanely excited and I almost bust at the seams! It’s like if I don’t verbalize my excitement I may explode! So sometimes, my surprise gets the best of me and I end up spilling before it comes to fruition.

Yesterday was one such day. At the last minute I decided to surprise Josh with a pie. He is a pie fanatic and he’s been begging me to try one of the recipes in a pie book we received for our wedding. So I ran off to the store and picked up the ingredients for a strawberry pie.

I have never made a strawberry pie before, but I read the directions about ten times and figured I could pull it off.

In the 3 hours I had to make the pie and hide it before Josh got home from work, I did.  There was literally no remnants of the pie in sight! I even started dinner so that the smell of the strawberries (which was AMAZING) would be camouflaged.

My plan was to make the pie, hide it, and then after dinner I would present him the homemade strawberry pie.

Josh came home, and I was thrilled. I was keeping my mouth shut and acting normal, there was no way that he would have had a clue… I was able to maintain that façade.

Within fifteen minutes, he caught on that I was up to something. Next thing I know, he’s searching the house and even the fridge! Somehow, he didn’t see the pie shaped tin foil blob and kept asking me what I had up my sleeve.

I smiled super big and said I made him a pie! Which he was super excited about.  The feeling I get when I do something unexpected is amazing! I love to do things for Josh that are out of the ordinary.

Dinner is Ready!

When Josh and I got married things definitely changed.

One of the biggest changes would be that I now cook. When we had weekend visits together while we were dating we occasionally would throw some pasta in a pot, but generally our meals were take-out or delivery. Which was fine and good since it wasn’t happening all the time, but now that we are officially “grown-up,” I’ve had to step up to the plate, literally.

I’ve never been a bad cook. In fact, I cook a lot like my dad – Thank God! I have no fear in the kitchen and have never had a problem “winging it.” I rarely follow a recipe and things generally turn out O.K.

Since our wedding, I have prepared a home-cooked meal roughly 95% (if not more) of the time. Our meals have ranged from the typical pasta with sauce, all the way to Salmon!

To be honest, at first I thought cooking would be a “cute wife thing” to do, but now I thoroughly enjoy it! I love when my husband comes home from work and he can see everything I have been working on in the pots and pans. It’s so fun to create different meals using simple ingredients.

One of my favorite dinners was the tacos I made, that I still brag about! It was so easy, but the few tweaks I made, had a huge impact. So I will share it with you:

I browned 1 pound of ground beef and seasoned it using a regular taco seasoning pouch. Then I added an entire can of black beans (drained), and an entire can of diced tomatoes with peppers (drained). I let it simmer on low for probably an hour so that the flavors could really dive into the meat.  Then we just filled our favorite shells with the toppings of our choice and enjoyed! Simple, but amazing. Definitely beats just having taco meat. So give it a try!

Cooking for my husband is an adventure every day and it’s definitely rewarding when he tells me something I made is “the best he’s ever had.” 

Day Date!

Since our wedding Josh and I have traveled back home every weekend for family or work events. Our first weekend together at home was this past one and in an effort to explore our new surroundings we decided we would spend the day going for a drive.

We got in the car and Josh headed North taking random turns and driving along Lake Michigan. It was a gorgeous day and after a busy week it was nice to just relax and be together without TV or phones distracting us.

An interesting fact about Josh and I is that we travel extremely well together. We have spent countless hours in cars or stranded in airports and we really enjoy ourselves. For example, despite being together for over 5 years, we never have the radio on in the car because we are too busy chatting and laughing!

After a while of enjoying the country, we decided it was time to find a place to eat. Naturally, that meant there was nothing nearby and we kept driving for whole hour before finding anything. We decided to choose a “North Woods”-esque place to eat because they tend to have incredible food and social locals.

We didn’t choose well. We were deceived by a phenomenal lodge themed exterior that was truly stunning! Upon entry we discovered it had a more formal vibe and it was extremely quiet. Even our quiet, and I am talking whisper-level quiet, felt like we were disturbing the other patrons. Not exactly what we were hoping for. The food didn’t make it any better either. We ordered an appetizer plate and Coke. The Coke was watered down, and the food was so greasy! But we were not discouraged and got back in the car to continue our journey.

As we drove further North we entered the craziness that is Door County. With billboards littering the roads for local wineries, we decided that would be our next stop. We found a super cute one and partook in our first wine tasting. The hostess walked us through the different choices and we sampled 6. I am a sucker for wine so we ended up going to the register with 5 bottles, and thanks to the man checking out our order informing us about 5% off if we get 6, I grabbed one more. I may as well wear a sign that says, “I love wine, please take my money.”

We were having such a wonderful time together so I opened the door to my Packer Fan hubby to go through Green Bay on our way home. Now that was an interesting experience! It was the day they retired Favre’s jersey and people were EVERYWHERE! As we got closer to the stadium, people had even painted their fences in Packer themes. It was crazy. Everyone was dressed up and decked out in their Packer gear and partying hard. Since it was overwhelming, we just drove through and made our way home.

To cap off our “Day Date,” we cleaned up and went out to dinner at a local restaurant in our town.

I absolutely love spending quality time with my husband and pairing our different interests to make fun experiences. We always have the best conversations in the car too, we can be super goofy!

So, I encourage you, grab your spouse and go discover something new. You never know, you may discover a new part of each other…

Growing Together.

Something that Josh and I discussed prior to our marriage was how we wanted our faith to be incorporated in our life together. We decided to do a weekly Bible Study together so that we can reflect on our relationship and focus on God. So within the first week of being married we ordered our first “newly married series” to go through and since we are still awaiting its arrival, we went to the internet for an article or video to get ourselves started.

While searching the web for a place to start, Josh stumbled upon two links (which I will include at the end of this post, this is simply my experience with these articles). The first one we explored was “The Seven Greatest Needs of a Wife.”

It was so amazing to sit with my husband and go through the list and really discuss each of the needs mentioned. The seven needs are: love, attention, protection, security, value, compassion, and partnership.

Now I am blessed with an amazing husband who truly fulfills these needs for me, but the way the author of the article breaks down each need really opened up his eyes to how my brain works and gave him ideas to meet the needs differently too. It also taught me ways to communicate the specifics of each need I have.

For example, the partnership need is a big one for me. I like to do “girly” things: visit craft stores, shop, etc., which Josh does not enjoy but I would love him join me. When we read the section about partnership Josh really realized that when I ask him to be present doing the little things I like, it means a lot.

The next article was, “7 of the Greatest Needs of a Man.” Which honestly kind of hit me right between the eyes. I knew that being a new wife would mean that I needed to work on things, but man did I not realize how much!

The 7 needs listed are: respect, admiration, tranquility, commitment, acceptance/participation, ability to lead, and emotional release.

The respect and admiration needs I like to think I am a champ at and according to the way the author broke it down, I’m pretty close to being on point. Unfortunately, I fall short in other areas.

As the wife, I have a huge responsibility to my husband and the way I handle things greatly impacts him. The need he has of tranquility is honestly not easy for me. The explanation really hits on nagging, which I know I have fallen into the trap of before. My nagging takes away from his time and ability to prepare to face the world. It also tends to lead to the thing I need done being handled without the attitude I wanted. So this blurb from the article opened up a conversation about how we can handle the “nagging.”

We agreed that when I ask for something to be taken care of, I have to trust it to get done, but my husband will give me a time frame in which he will handle it. That way I know it will be done and he can fit it in on his own timeframe and not feel nagged.

Articles like these really are amazing! It is so fun to see what you can learn about yourself and your partner when you take the time to reflect on who God made you to be.

PLEASE take the time to explore these articles yourself, Josh and I really enjoyed them!

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/engagement-newlyweds/7-of-the-greatest-needs-of-a-husband.html

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2014/04/7-of-the-greatest-needs-of-a-wife.html

Ice Cream

One of the most humbling moments in our marriage came about 2 weeks in. I had this bright idea that I needed to have ice cream after dinner and once I get something in my head, I need to see it through. So after casually mentioning my need a few times, Josh and I found ourselves in the Dairy Queen drive-through.

First of all, do not be confused. Josh does not need to be coaxed into going out for ice cream. The two of us have a seriously prominent sweet tooth and ice cream is our shared vice. So my desire to enjoy this frozen dessert was met with zero opposition. And once we had our chosen treats in the car, (he ordered a Peanut Buster Parfait, and I got a peanut butter/hot fudge sundae), we went to enjoy them in the comfort of our own home.

I don’t think we even could recognize the plot line in the show we were watching before our dessert was devoured. We eat shamelessly fast.

Unfortunately, almost as fast as we ate, our realization that we had made a mistake also sunk in. It seemed instantaneous, and there was no warning.

Josh started complaining about a stomach pain and sure enough I was not far behind. Next thing I know we are almost unable to sit up straight from the discomfort and we dragged ourselves to bed.

Once there, the pain didn’t subside. Josh said he felt like he was going to vomit, and my abdomen felt like it was filled with bricks. It was AWFUL.

10 days into our marriage we were lying in bed, miserable. To make it better, we were googling ways to make the pain stop. Yes, we were googling stomach massage techniques to induce relief. Trust me, in all the day-dreaming I did about marriage, this circumstance was not on my radar.

It took 10 days ladies and gentlemen to break the barrier of “bathroom” talk. And we were betrayed by our love for ice cream!

The Beginning of Us

June 20^th, 2015. The day that has been in the making for 6 years. We found the venue of our dreams, had a menu that would get anyone’s taste buds excited, and our décor was gorgeous!

As I sat in the Bridal Suite with my girlfriends, mom, and aunt my nerves were steady as can be. I could not wrap my head around the fact that the day of my dreams was upon us. Everything had fallen into place and every last detail was perfect, except one.

The weather had turned and a storm was rolling in- not ideal for our amazing outdoor ceremony. But you would never have known by looking at me. I was ready, and the weather was going to do whatever it wanted, but was not going to ruin my day. I had in my head that no matter what, I was walking down that aisle.

And I did. I walked down the aisle with my dad holding an umbrella, past all of our umbrella holding guests to my groom. The ceremony began and the rain poured! Thunder rolled and our guests got soaked! Holding hands with my groom, I looked out and laughed.

Our wedding day, despite the rain, was incredible! The perfect launch into the new stage of our life.

Now we are husband and wife and our life together is a lot like our wedding, perfectly imperfect.