Monday, July 20, 2015

Growing Together.

Something that Josh and I discussed prior to our marriage was how we wanted our faith to be incorporated in our life together. We decided to do a weekly Bible Study together so that we can reflect on our relationship and focus on God. So within the first week of being married we ordered our first “newly married series” to go through and since we are still awaiting its arrival, we went to the internet for an article or video to get ourselves started.

While searching the web for a place to start, Josh stumbled upon two links (which I will include at the end of this post, this is simply my experience with these articles). The first one we explored was “The Seven Greatest Needs of a Wife.”

It was so amazing to sit with my husband and go through the list and really discuss each of the needs mentioned. The seven needs are: love, attention, protection, security, value, compassion, and partnership.

Now I am blessed with an amazing husband who truly fulfills these needs for me, but the way the author of the article breaks down each need really opened up his eyes to how my brain works and gave him ideas to meet the needs differently too. It also taught me ways to communicate the specifics of each need I have.

For example, the partnership need is a big one for me. I like to do “girly” things: visit craft stores, shop, etc., which Josh does not enjoy but I would love him join me. When we read the section about partnership Josh really realized that when I ask him to be present doing the little things I like, it means a lot.

The next article was, “7 of the Greatest Needs of a Man.” Which honestly kind of hit me right between the eyes. I knew that being a new wife would mean that I needed to work on things, but man did I not realize how much!

The 7 needs listed are: respect, admiration, tranquility, commitment, acceptance/participation, ability to lead, and emotional release.

The respect and admiration needs I like to think I am a champ at and according to the way the author broke it down, I’m pretty close to being on point. Unfortunately, I fall short in other areas.

As the wife, I have a huge responsibility to my husband and the way I handle things greatly impacts him. The need he has of tranquility is honestly not easy for me. The explanation really hits on nagging, which I know I have fallen into the trap of before. My nagging takes away from his time and ability to prepare to face the world. It also tends to lead to the thing I need done being handled without the attitude I wanted. So this blurb from the article opened up a conversation about how we can handle the “nagging.”

We agreed that when I ask for something to be taken care of, I have to trust it to get done, but my husband will give me a time frame in which he will handle it. That way I know it will be done and he can fit it in on his own timeframe and not feel nagged.

Articles like these really are amazing! It is so fun to see what you can learn about yourself and your partner when you take the time to reflect on who God made you to be.

PLEASE take the time to explore these articles yourself, Josh and I really enjoyed them!

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