Christmas Decor

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it is officially time to get ready for Christmas! Since this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, as well as the first majorly decorated holiday, we have been having a lot of fun.

Before our wedding and even after, family members decided to downsize their Christmas decorations so we had a pretty good start. Our tree is a hand-me down from my grandparents. It’s a cute pre-lit tree that stands about 3 feet tall. The ornaments we have are either antiques from my grandparents, ones my mom gave from her stash, or gifts we received during the pre-wedding events. We also were given a few Christmas serving dishes, and candle holders.

The rest I went out to purchase. I found our stockings at Hobby Lobby. They are so cute! One is gray and the other red with complimentary wood scenes. When it comes to lighting, I went overboard, partially because I forgot the tree was pre-lit. I bought 8 boxes of 100 mini lights. And of course, you have to have a poinsettia and I found one for super cheap at Wal-Mart.

We decorated yesterday night. Josh put extra lights on the tree, and together we hung tinsel garland and lights around the windows in the family room. On the windows we hung silver snowflake ornaments with fishing line, and the stockings are hung under one of the windows. Our tree is decorated with a mixture of the antique ornaments, gift ornaments, and ones my mom gave us.

And of course, we have winter-scented candles throughout the apartment that give off the most amazing scents! I love our Christmas wonderland. It definitely makes for a memorable first married Christmas.

Now to stay under-budget with gifts for my husband… (Thank God for Cyber Monday!)

31:10

Over the weekend I began thinking about Proverbs 31, in particular what it means to be a Proverbs 31 wife. So I have decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to study and understand that chapter in the Bible.

My goal is to take one verse at a time and break it down. I want to understand the specific meaning of the words used. I want to compare the historical significance of certain ideas with what would be their current equivalent. Ultimately, I want to learn how I can implement what the passage says and grow as a wife.

Yesterday I began my Proverbs 31 journey and already am completely amazed by what I discovered. So I want to take you through my process.

Proverbs 31:10            “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies.”

First I decided to define “virtuous” and “capable.” (I used the Webster’s Online Dictionary). Virtuous means, “having or showing high moral standards or chaste.” Capable means, “having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to achieve a specified thing.” These definitions alone opened up a new level of understanding on the verse.

Then I wanted to have a clear knowledge on the term “moral” as found in the virtuous definition. The definition of moral is, “concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.”

I was fascinated. These definitions brought to life a verse I have read probably hundreds of times. It is building a great foundation for the rest of the chapter.

However, I didn’t stop there. My next thought was, “Why is the virtuous and capable wife more precious than rubies? Why not diamonds?” In our culture diamonds are symbolic of wealth, engagement, marriage, and status. It’s rare to hear (if ever) that a person wants a ruby. So I wanted to know why that stone was the one used in comparison.

So I hit google and stumbled upon a website that talked about the various stones mentioned in the Bible. I learned so much about rubies! I had no idea that rubies are the rarest precious gemstone in the world. The website said that diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires have been found weighing hundreds of carats, whereas a high quality ruby weighing even 20 carats is rare! Also, the price of a gem-quality ruby will far exceed the price of an equivalently sized diamond. Who would have thought?

No wonder Solomon compared a virtuous and capable wife to rubies in expression of their rarity.

In one day it already feels like I am learning so much about what kind of wife I am called to be. It has been a long time since I have taken the time to work through a particular Bible verse or passage and I am thrilled to be going through Proverbs 31.

The ultimate goal for me in this process is to be the wife the Bible describes. I want to honor God and my husband through my role as a wife. I encourage you, married or not, to explore the calling God has given to us as women.

Thanksgiving

This year will be my first Thanksgiving as a wife! Josh and I will be celebrating the holiday with my parents and brothers. Since I no longer live with my parents I decided it would be time for me to start assisting in the preparation of food.

My mom is big on everyone having the dish that makes the dinner “Thanksgiving” to them. She likes to make sure the holiday is special for all of us. For her and Aidan its green bean casserole, (not on mine or my dad’s top 10). Dad and I like sweet potato casserole, Nolan likes dinner rolls, and Josh likes pistachio pudding salad.

Since her and my dad will be taking care of the turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and other assorted sides, I volunteered to make sweet potato casserole, the pudding salad, and a pumpkin pie.

I have never made any of those things before.

It will be an interesting holiday dinner for sure, haha. I did my research and found recipes for each dish and went to the store to buy all the ingredients today.

The sweet potato casserole and pudding salad should be easy, but I was nervous about the pumpkin pie. Emphasis on the word “was.”  As I passed by the freezer section I noticed a box of frozen pumpkin pie on sale for just about $3. SOLD! I figured a store bought pie would be better than a homemade pie I messed up.

I cannot wait for this holiday! It will be so nice to spend time with my family and not have an agenda. We can just relax, enjoy good food, and great company.

Coffee Stains

When Josh and I announced our marriage and got to figuring out where we would live, several people joked about how “once we lived together certain quirks wouldn’t be so cute.” Well, I stand by our decision to not live together before getting married and to be honest I can only think of one little thing Josh does that drives me crazy.

Is it the water he splashes all around the sink? I mean seriously, it’s not a facewash commercial in there but you would think by the mess that it is. But, no that isn’t it.

Could it be that he leaves his school stuff all over the family room floor? Nope, it’s not that either.

The thing that drives me crazy are the coffee rings.

When we got engaged I started collecting furniture and re-fashioning them to fit our style. Well, I fell in love with this 1970’s square coffee table with the original diamond shaped hardware. I painted it this amazing color blue and just adore this piece of furniture.

My dear, sweet, husband unfortunately has a habit of not using coasters. So in the morning while he enjoys his coffee (not very carefully) rings of spillover form at the base of his cup. He then proceeds to forget that he didn’t wipe the table and by the time I get to it, the rings have stained the paint.

I have re-painted that table 4+ times in the 5 months we have been married and it drives me crazy.

Thankfully, it’s not the end of the world and not the worst quirky trait possible.

I wonder what he would say my most annoying trait is….

He sees right through me

My husband can read me like a book. There is seldom a time that I am able to conceal my inner thoughts and feelings. No matter the reason or mood, Josh can look at my face and know if there is something on my mind or heart.

Sometimes he even can recognize traits about myself that I have not realized. Last night was one of those times. He was home for the day working on things to put himself in a good place for the end of the semester, so I kept myself busy working and taking care of my own things. At the end of the day he looked at me and simply asked if I was ready to talk.

So I did. I spilled the various things that were on my mind and causing me to have anxiety. Granted none of them were huge/major or life altering, but they were enough to leave me uneasy. I told him how I had handled each situation, and he confirmed that what I did/said was correct, honest, and above reproach. While his confirmation made me feel better, it didn’t take away my uneasiness.

Then he really got it. He looked at me again and asked me, “Why are you so afraid of conflict? What do you think is the absolute worst that could come of each of these situations?” I racked my brain and honestly, any scenario I came up with didn’t make sense but I looked at him and just said that I could not handle the idea of someone not liking me, or being angry with me.

He heard what I said and pointed out that I don’t have those same concerns with everyone, but rather just the people I’m friends with or those in my extended family. After going back and forth together trying to “hit the nail on the head” as to why I let small disagreements become huge in my head we came to an interesting point.

There are scenarios in my past where I have been tossed out by people who didn’t share my ideas/opinions or those of the people in my immediate family. There have been times I put myself on the line for people who later betrayed me. These instances have left me with wounded and I never recognized that.

I am not typically someone who strays away from my strong and passionate ideas, but lately I am very gun-shy. After talking with my husband about all of these scenarios I realized that I have to re-learn that it is OK to disagree with people I love and not worry about being abandoned by them.

It’s interesting to go back and realize that the situations I lived through are now impacting my life and the way I handle tough situations. I have to go back to my strong and passionate self and not allow myself to be stifled by anxiety or worry.

I adore the fact that my husband can read me. I love that he can see straight through my exterior and understand the desires and fears in my heart and soul. Having him there to help my better understand myself and work through weaknesses in my life is an incredible blessing. Being able to be 100% authentic with him is perfect.

Our marriage has only enhanced Josh’s ability to understand me. Marriage is such a beautiful gift and I look forward to growing closer to my husband.

Debating/Conversing

One of the many things that make relationships great is that we all have differing views and opinions on things. Maybe it has to do with the way we were brought up, or perhaps it’s something we pick up over time, but the opinions we form enable us to have in-depth conversations on topics that actually matter. (I don’t know about you, but I’d rather talk to someone on a real level than a surface one, any day).

However, since we have differing opinions on hot-button topics, I think that it is important to recognize this and take a look at how you present your ideas. I can sit back with someone who has the exact opposite view point from me and truly have a pleasant conversation. I can also have a really negative experience doing the same thing. That is why it is important to tread lightly in those scenarios.

If you are going to step up to the plate and discuss something with a person whose opinion is not the same as yours, it is important to be smart about it.

Do not go into the conversation like a bat out of hell, trying to prove your point to be right while belittling and attacking. That makes you look bad. If you can’t support your opinion while keeping a level head, maybe you shouldn’t talk about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and chances are they have valid reasons for feeling that way. You don’t have the right to be rude to someone based on a differing opinion.

The next thing you should be aware of is your knowledge level on a topic. If you enter into a conversation and all you can do to support your views is say something like, “I don’t believe that’s the way it is” you look uninformed. If you have a strong conviction one way or another, be informed about it. Have facts to back up your views. And PLEASE do not speak on someone’s behalf by saying, “I don’t think so-and-so would do/say that so that’s not right.” Who are you to speak on someone else’s behalf? Do the research and know the facts before you open your mouth.

My brother, Nolan, is amazing at talking to people who don’t share the same views as him. He treats them with respect and admits when he doesn’t know about a specific topic. Nolan knows his facts and when a topic interests him, does the research to know as much as he can. The opinions he forms are fact based and he can defend why he sides certain ways.

With the world in the state that it’s in, it is important to not just hear things the way we want to. It is our responsibility to be informed and make the best possible decisions based on what we believe. Treat the people you converse with respectfully. 

Home Sweet Home

I think that the best compliment Josh and I have received about our apartment is that it is, “comfortable & cozy.” Seriously, is there a better compliment? I think not.

When my family came to visit on Sunday those are the words they used to describe our place… as they were becoming engulfed by our couch. Haha. It was wonderful to see our family relaxing and enjoying the space that we have worked so hard on.

So today I spent some time taking inventory on what it is exactly that makes our space so perfect and inviting.

First, we have this fabulous couch. It’s the size of a three cushion couch, but on the left side is a chaise. Atop the couch are eight pillows of varying sizes and textures. There is no reason to be uncomfortable as you sit upon our couch.

If you were to catch a chill, at the foot of the chaise you will find a basket filled with plenty of blankets. They are incredibly soft and huge! Josh and I have a very specific sense of touch, so we are very picky about the blankets that are in our home. So when it comes to something cozy to cuddle up in, you will be spoiled!

Then we also have worked hard to set a relaxed atmosphere. The walls and shelves are filled with pictures of our families and most amazing memories! There are candles everywhere setting a comfortable and home-y tone.

I LOVE our home! I think that it is so important to fill your space with things that make you comfortable and happy. You deserve to have a place that you love coming home to.  

Hypothetical Fish

Want to hear a funny story? Sure you do.

Last night my husband and I were hanging out relaxing after spending the day with my parents, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousins. Josh was playing a videogame and I was scrolling Pinterest.

I stumbled across this really unique fish bowl. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. The shape was the typical fish bowl, but the bottom came up to form what looked like little mountains. The whole thing was glass and just caught my eye.

It got me thinking that Josh and I should get a fish. Then my mind really went to work…

I decided that we would get a fish and put him in the fish bowl I saw on Pinterest. Then since we tend to go away periodically on weekends, we could purchase a food dispenser that was on a timer. That way even though we were gone the fish would still be cared for.

Then my brain did a number on me. What if the food dispenser didn’t work? I visualized us returning home from a weekend away to a dead fish. Enter guilt… I would let the fish die?! That poor little fish wouldn’t be feel loved if we were gone and then it wouldn’t get fed. The poor fish would die feeling hungry and unloved! (Yes, my brain really did take this imaginary trip).

The worst part of it all is that I genuinely got sad. Not like, that’s sad so we shouldn’t get a fish. But actual tears formed. I started crying over a fish that I didn’t even actually own!!!!!

Josh turned to me from his game to see that I was crying and asked what was wrong. So I told him. I walked my husband through the same emotional rollercoaster my brain took me on.

Guess what? He LAUGHED. To the point I think he almost had tears in his eyes. He couldn’t even breathe! He kept speaking in half sentences and just rolled in laughter. He said between laughs, “You’re a bad fish owner!” and “I’m sorry about your fish we don’t even have!”

At that moment, I recognized how insane I sounded. I don’t even know how I was able to get that worked up over a hypothetical fish. In any case, it was a good laugh for Josh and I so I figured I would share it with you. 

Take the step to follow your dream

For as long as I can remember I have dreamt of writing a book. I think that the desire came when I had an amazing English teacher in Jr. High. She used to give us super cool journaling assignments that let our creativity flow and it was from then on that I have felt the need to become an author.

Of course as the years went on, my desire to write fiction has diminished and I have felt that I should now write about my experiences. In particular my experiences in love, dating, and marriage from the perspective of a Christian woman. I feel that it is important to share with other women, especially those embarking on the beginning of their dating lives, that what society projects is not necessarily fact.

Obviously the years of me desiring to write a book did not result in any fruitful action. As I sit here I am not a published author or even in the process of seeking out publishers. I have let my dream of being an author take a back seat figuring that I will someday achieve this goal.

Sure I have made weak attempt at beginning to write my book, but in reality each attempt kept me further from reaching my goal. This blog for instance, was supposed to be the start of my book, but the blog aspect took over instead.

Yesterday I had an epiphany. If I continue to put off writing a book, I am not going to ever find the time. There will always be something I could do that can take precedents over my dream. So I made the decision to get started.

Last night while Josh was at basketball, I began my book. I now have 2 pages written. They aren’t by any means good, but for the first time in years I have been able to sit down and begin putting my thoughts onto paper. I am now 2 pages closer to achieving my dream.

Sub-par cooking

I have been in a funk lately. My cooking has been absolutely horrible!

It all began on Saturday. Josh and I were going to have a movie night so I decided to try something new. I made empanadas anticipating them to be similar to the ones I have bought in the freezer section. Boy was I disappointed. The texture was off, the flavor was lacking, and I was not happy. Thankfully, they were still edible.

Unfortunately, the days to follow, followed suit.

Sunday evening I made chili.

Monday’s dinner was honey glazed salmon.

Tuesday we had fish filet sandwiches.

Wednesday I made enchiladas.

Not one of those meals was anything worth mentioning. Since I began cooking after getting married, I have been riding pretty high. My meals have been random creations that always seemed to turn out amazing. So this week of sub-par meals is driving me INSANE.

I voiced my concern and frustration to Josh last night after forcing down the last bit of enchilada on my plate. He initially laughed, but realized I was not joking. So he looked back on the week of meals with me and pointed out that every meal I was trying something different; maybe the sauce was a different brand, or the recipe was brand new. He came to the conclusion that I needed to cook a recipe that is in my wheel-house and take a break from the random meal attempts.

So tonight I am doing just that. I am preparing a chicken pot pie using a recipe I have used for years. Fingers crossed I don’t mess this up!

Thank a Vet

Today is November 11, 2015. Veteran’s Day. So go thank a Veteran.

Not just today, but every day. If you see a man or woman in uniform, thank them.

You don’t know their story. You don’t know if they are stationed in your area. You don’t know the last time they saw their loved ones. You don’t know the major life events they have missed. The absolute least you can do is thank them for their service and sacrifice.

Their willingness to devote years of their life to military service is a blessing to each and every one of us as Americans. The things they are willing to do and the horrors they see are the same things that make our daily lives better.

Our freedom rests on the work the military does. It is because our military protects that freedom that we are able to do the things we enjoy, and speak out against things we don’t agree with.

So when you see that man or woman in uniform, go ahead and shake their hand. Thank them for their service. Remind them that the people they are risking their lives for appreciate them.

Things I'm not good at...

I struggle with hobbies. In particular, I struggle with yarn centered hobbies.

Several years ago, I began to crochet. I finished a scarf and from that point on figured that I could make all kinds of yarn projects.  Thank was not the case.

The very next time I picked up yarn and a crochet needle, things went bad.

After several attempts to get my project going, I was BEYOND frustrated. My temper flared and I took that stupid bundle of yarn and needle, opened the garage door, and whipped it out of the house. I then slammed the door and walked away.

Sometime later, my parents came home to find the yarn draped across the garage. That was fun to explain.

This crafting incident has become quite the joke amongst our family. Anytime I pick up another bundle of yarn, I get asked how long it will be before it goes flying across the room.

Last week in particular, I almost got to the point of no return. I was sitting with Josh on our couch. He was working on homework and I was creating a scarf with this amazing blue yarn. For some reason the scarf started to look different. The first 12 inches were different from the section I was working on. I could not figure out why.

I literally only know 1 stitch. How on Earth could the scarf be changing?

Our apartment was silent and all of a sudden, the frustration crept up. “BLEEP BLEEP.” Josh turns to me, sees that I am frustrated by my craft, and LAUGHS.

I don’t think I will ever live down my inability to relax and craft.

Step away from those opinions... form your own life.

With articles like, “Twenty Things to Do in Your Twenties,” “8 Reasons Why You Should Be Single In Your Twenties,” and the countless others, it’s easy to get caught up. Then log into your favorite social media site and see the pictures of various “friends” and their “glamorous” lives.

Now look at your own life. Chances are after seeing those articles and scrolling through those pictures, you feel pretty inadequate. Why is it that just a few moments surfing the internet can make you feel like your life isn’t being lived to its full potential?

Whether it be social media, the news, internet, or magazines, there is always someone trying to tell us how we should live our lives. People in their twenties are often a major target of this, and it’s just got to stop.

My husband and I started dating when we were 18 years old and have been together ever since. We spent a solid chunk of our dating lives saving money because we knew that we wanted to get married and have a future together. That meant that our lives were INCREDIBLY different from those around us.

We had friends who were single and enjoyed an eventful social life, and others who traveled around the country/world with no regard for the future. It was hard being around all of that. Of course there were moments of weakness that we wanted to blow it all, spend money like it didn’t matter on a pointless night out, or jump on a plane to go on an adventure. There were even the times we felt like we were “wrong” for being young and committed. It was super difficult wanting to have those things and choosing to not succumb to the pressure.

It is so easy to be tricked by the “glamorous” lifestyles. Things you never thought about, are now desires because someone online has it, or some goofy article is telling you how to have a fulfilling life. What a bunch of non-sense.

Look into yourself. What do you truly want? Do you want to fall in love and get married? Then do it! Do you want to travel? Then go ahead. Are you career focused and want to get ahead? Then feel free to achieve. This life was not designed to be a cookie-cutter, one size fits all. We were all created with our own set of goals and desires, no two individuals are alike. So why on Earth does anyone have the right to spread their bogus opinion on what your life should look like in your 20’s?

I am 24 years old, married to the man I have been with since I was 18. We want to have a family someday in the not so distant future. We like to go on day trips with no agenda, just to see what we will stumble across. A fun night for us revolves around good food and lots of laughing. We’ve been able to leave the country and do local vacations. I have a great career that has given me unbelievable flexibility, and in a matter of a few months he will be a lawyer. We have an amazing life!

And get this, it’s not because we chose to follow the advice of an article, or chase the lifestyles of people portrayed online. It’s because we are doing what makes us happy and complete. I invite you to do the same.

Learning

Every day God allows me to learn something new about my marriage. Some days I discover a new part that I absolutely adore. Like last night, my husband came home from class and just oozed information about his night. We sat together on the couch, eating dinner and drinking wine while he talked. From the face he made while telling me about his first experience with Thai food, to the legal debates he partook in, I loved every second we had together discussing his evening.

Then there are days that God exposes a weakness in my marriage. It might be an area that we aren’t good at communicating, for example, the budget. (I really hate being on a budget and it causes me a great deal of stress even though I know it is important). Or He may reveal to me a personal weakness, like my stubbornness.

In any case, I am discovering that marriage is a constant learning environment.

God has blessed me with my husband and together as we learn more about each other and ourselves. I know that the beautiful times together will periodically be met with difficult ones. I also know that God is the Cornerstone of our marriage and no matter what experience we are having, He will walk through it with us.

I love my husband and believe that God has anointed our marriage. He is guiding us and I look forward to all the new revelations.

God uses things to "get people done"

I firmly believe that God “uses things to get people done.” When my mom first said that to me, it was in regards to an event that occurred 7 years ago today, November 5, 2008. Now she didn’t say it back in 2008, but rather about a year or 2 later.

In any case, the event she was referring to was the major car accident my husband, then friend was in.

In 2008 on November 6, I was at lunch and realized my friend Josh had ditched school. Since he was the person I most enjoyed having lunch with, I texted him giving him a hard time for blowing off school and ditching me. Never in a million years did I anticipate the response I would receive.

After school I had to go to my part-time job and upon arriving I saw that “Josh” had messaged me back. Once I read the message I learned that his mom was the one who texted and that Josh had been in a major accident. She then invited me to call her for more information, so of course I did.

She told me that on his way home from work the night before he was in a car accident and that he was now in the hospital after having brain surgery. I was speechless, scared, and so sad.

That accident gets acknowledged every year by the people in Josh’s family, and over time I began to realize the ripple effect it had.  For my relationship with Josh, this accident was a turning point that brought us closer together.

The best thing to come out of this terrible and scary life event was that it brought Josh into his journey of knowing Christ. 

It didn’t happen overnight, but God began working on Josh after his accident. God turned something ugly and awful into something absolutely amazing. I believe that it is because of the turning point that was the accident, Josh and I are now married. I also believe it is because of the accident that Josh is a Godly man.

My mom would be right in my opinion. God really does use things to get people done. He took what could have been tragic and changed our lives forever.

Halloween Compromising

Halloween is a holiday for compromise in our relationship.

Josh loves Halloween and if he had his way we would spend every weekend in a haunted house. I on the other hand, hate being scared. The thought of being in a place where people purposely embrace your deepest fears is not my idea of a good time. So over the years we have developed a compromise that allows him to get scared, and I feel safe.

Every year Josh and I have a scary movie night on Halloween. We invite friends over, I cook food, and Josh selects a couple flicks that are guaranteed to make me scream. The week leading up to our movie night, Josh researches scary movies and comes up with a few he thinks would be good. Then he shares his ideas with me, and I check them for the appropriate criteria. (Like I said, I hate being scared, so I get to have a say in what movies are shown).

When it comes to scary movies, I do not like anything to do with the devil. I do not believe in giving him screen time and inviting him into our home in film form. So if the titles Josh selects have anything to do with the devil or an exorcism or other satanic stuff, it is automatically out. The other criteria I have, that is a lot harder to find prior to watching the movie, is anything relating to forced sexual acts. Unfortunately, it’s hard to know if that will happen at any point in a movie before watching it. Thankfully, in our years of doing this event we have only had 1 movie with that make it to the final showing.

This past weekend we had friends over and watched The Purge and It Follows. They both got us girls to scream a few times.

As much as I hate being scared, I am glad Josh and I found this compromise. He is able to enjoy the scary part of Halloween and I get to dabble in it while hanging out with our friends. Plus living in Madison, we got to go out to see everyone dressed up which is always fun!