Christmas Decor

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it is officially time to get ready for Christmas! Since this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, as well as the first majorly decorated holiday, we have been having a lot of fun.

Before our wedding and even after, family members decided to downsize their Christmas decorations so we had a pretty good start. Our tree is a hand-me down from my grandparents. It’s a cute pre-lit tree that stands about 3 feet tall. The ornaments we have are either antiques from my grandparents, ones my mom gave from her stash, or gifts we received during the pre-wedding events. We also were given a few Christmas serving dishes, and candle holders.

The rest I went out to purchase. I found our stockings at Hobby Lobby. They are so cute! One is gray and the other red with complimentary wood scenes. When it comes to lighting, I went overboard, partially because I forgot the tree was pre-lit. I bought 8 boxes of 100 mini lights. And of course, you have to have a poinsettia and I found one for super cheap at Wal-Mart.

We decorated yesterday night. Josh put extra lights on the tree, and together we hung tinsel garland and lights around the windows in the family room. On the windows we hung silver snowflake ornaments with fishing line, and the stockings are hung under one of the windows. Our tree is decorated with a mixture of the antique ornaments, gift ornaments, and ones my mom gave us.

And of course, we have winter-scented candles throughout the apartment that give off the most amazing scents! I love our Christmas wonderland. It definitely makes for a memorable first married Christmas.

Now to stay under-budget with gifts for my husband… (Thank God for Cyber Monday!)

31:10

Over the weekend I began thinking about Proverbs 31, in particular what it means to be a Proverbs 31 wife. So I have decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to study and understand that chapter in the Bible.

My goal is to take one verse at a time and break it down. I want to understand the specific meaning of the words used. I want to compare the historical significance of certain ideas with what would be their current equivalent. Ultimately, I want to learn how I can implement what the passage says and grow as a wife.

Yesterday I began my Proverbs 31 journey and already am completely amazed by what I discovered. So I want to take you through my process.

Proverbs 31:10            “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies.”

First I decided to define “virtuous” and “capable.” (I used the Webster’s Online Dictionary). Virtuous means, “having or showing high moral standards or chaste.” Capable means, “having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to achieve a specified thing.” These definitions alone opened up a new level of understanding on the verse.

Then I wanted to have a clear knowledge on the term “moral” as found in the virtuous definition. The definition of moral is, “concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.”

I was fascinated. These definitions brought to life a verse I have read probably hundreds of times. It is building a great foundation for the rest of the chapter.

However, I didn’t stop there. My next thought was, “Why is the virtuous and capable wife more precious than rubies? Why not diamonds?” In our culture diamonds are symbolic of wealth, engagement, marriage, and status. It’s rare to hear (if ever) that a person wants a ruby. So I wanted to know why that stone was the one used in comparison.

So I hit google and stumbled upon a website that talked about the various stones mentioned in the Bible. I learned so much about rubies! I had no idea that rubies are the rarest precious gemstone in the world. The website said that diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires have been found weighing hundreds of carats, whereas a high quality ruby weighing even 20 carats is rare! Also, the price of a gem-quality ruby will far exceed the price of an equivalently sized diamond. Who would have thought?

No wonder Solomon compared a virtuous and capable wife to rubies in expression of their rarity.

In one day it already feels like I am learning so much about what kind of wife I am called to be. It has been a long time since I have taken the time to work through a particular Bible verse or passage and I am thrilled to be going through Proverbs 31.

The ultimate goal for me in this process is to be the wife the Bible describes. I want to honor God and my husband through my role as a wife. I encourage you, married or not, to explore the calling God has given to us as women.

Thanksgiving

This year will be my first Thanksgiving as a wife! Josh and I will be celebrating the holiday with my parents and brothers. Since I no longer live with my parents I decided it would be time for me to start assisting in the preparation of food.

My mom is big on everyone having the dish that makes the dinner “Thanksgiving” to them. She likes to make sure the holiday is special for all of us. For her and Aidan its green bean casserole, (not on mine or my dad’s top 10). Dad and I like sweet potato casserole, Nolan likes dinner rolls, and Josh likes pistachio pudding salad.

Since her and my dad will be taking care of the turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and other assorted sides, I volunteered to make sweet potato casserole, the pudding salad, and a pumpkin pie.

I have never made any of those things before.

It will be an interesting holiday dinner for sure, haha. I did my research and found recipes for each dish and went to the store to buy all the ingredients today.

The sweet potato casserole and pudding salad should be easy, but I was nervous about the pumpkin pie. Emphasis on the word “was.”  As I passed by the freezer section I noticed a box of frozen pumpkin pie on sale for just about $3. SOLD! I figured a store bought pie would be better than a homemade pie I messed up.

I cannot wait for this holiday! It will be so nice to spend time with my family and not have an agenda. We can just relax, enjoy good food, and great company.

Coffee Stains

When Josh and I announced our marriage and got to figuring out where we would live, several people joked about how “once we lived together certain quirks wouldn’t be so cute.” Well, I stand by our decision to not live together before getting married and to be honest I can only think of one little thing Josh does that drives me crazy.

Is it the water he splashes all around the sink? I mean seriously, it’s not a facewash commercial in there but you would think by the mess that it is. But, no that isn’t it.

Could it be that he leaves his school stuff all over the family room floor? Nope, it’s not that either.

The thing that drives me crazy are the coffee rings.

When we got engaged I started collecting furniture and re-fashioning them to fit our style. Well, I fell in love with this 1970’s square coffee table with the original diamond shaped hardware. I painted it this amazing color blue and just adore this piece of furniture.

My dear, sweet, husband unfortunately has a habit of not using coasters. So in the morning while he enjoys his coffee (not very carefully) rings of spillover form at the base of his cup. He then proceeds to forget that he didn’t wipe the table and by the time I get to it, the rings have stained the paint.

I have re-painted that table 4+ times in the 5 months we have been married and it drives me crazy.

Thankfully, it’s not the end of the world and not the worst quirky trait possible.

I wonder what he would say my most annoying trait is….

He sees right through me

My husband can read me like a book. There is seldom a time that I am able to conceal my inner thoughts and feelings. No matter the reason or mood, Josh can look at my face and know if there is something on my mind or heart.

Sometimes he even can recognize traits about myself that I have not realized. Last night was one of those times. He was home for the day working on things to put himself in a good place for the end of the semester, so I kept myself busy working and taking care of my own things. At the end of the day he looked at me and simply asked if I was ready to talk.

So I did. I spilled the various things that were on my mind and causing me to have anxiety. Granted none of them were huge/major or life altering, but they were enough to leave me uneasy. I told him how I had handled each situation, and he confirmed that what I did/said was correct, honest, and above reproach. While his confirmation made me feel better, it didn’t take away my uneasiness.

Then he really got it. He looked at me again and asked me, “Why are you so afraid of conflict? What do you think is the absolute worst that could come of each of these situations?” I racked my brain and honestly, any scenario I came up with didn’t make sense but I looked at him and just said that I could not handle the idea of someone not liking me, or being angry with me.

He heard what I said and pointed out that I don’t have those same concerns with everyone, but rather just the people I’m friends with or those in my extended family. After going back and forth together trying to “hit the nail on the head” as to why I let small disagreements become huge in my head we came to an interesting point.

There are scenarios in my past where I have been tossed out by people who didn’t share my ideas/opinions or those of the people in my immediate family. There have been times I put myself on the line for people who later betrayed me. These instances have left me with wounded and I never recognized that.

I am not typically someone who strays away from my strong and passionate ideas, but lately I am very gun-shy. After talking with my husband about all of these scenarios I realized that I have to re-learn that it is OK to disagree with people I love and not worry about being abandoned by them.

It’s interesting to go back and realize that the situations I lived through are now impacting my life and the way I handle tough situations. I have to go back to my strong and passionate self and not allow myself to be stifled by anxiety or worry.

I adore the fact that my husband can read me. I love that he can see straight through my exterior and understand the desires and fears in my heart and soul. Having him there to help my better understand myself and work through weaknesses in my life is an incredible blessing. Being able to be 100% authentic with him is perfect.

Our marriage has only enhanced Josh’s ability to understand me. Marriage is such a beautiful gift and I look forward to growing closer to my husband.

Debating/Conversing

One of the many things that make relationships great is that we all have differing views and opinions on things. Maybe it has to do with the way we were brought up, or perhaps it’s something we pick up over time, but the opinions we form enable us to have in-depth conversations on topics that actually matter. (I don’t know about you, but I’d rather talk to someone on a real level than a surface one, any day).

However, since we have differing opinions on hot-button topics, I think that it is important to recognize this and take a look at how you present your ideas. I can sit back with someone who has the exact opposite view point from me and truly have a pleasant conversation. I can also have a really negative experience doing the same thing. That is why it is important to tread lightly in those scenarios.

If you are going to step up to the plate and discuss something with a person whose opinion is not the same as yours, it is important to be smart about it.

Do not go into the conversation like a bat out of hell, trying to prove your point to be right while belittling and attacking. That makes you look bad. If you can’t support your opinion while keeping a level head, maybe you shouldn’t talk about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and chances are they have valid reasons for feeling that way. You don’t have the right to be rude to someone based on a differing opinion.

The next thing you should be aware of is your knowledge level on a topic. If you enter into a conversation and all you can do to support your views is say something like, “I don’t believe that’s the way it is” you look uninformed. If you have a strong conviction one way or another, be informed about it. Have facts to back up your views. And PLEASE do not speak on someone’s behalf by saying, “I don’t think so-and-so would do/say that so that’s not right.” Who are you to speak on someone else’s behalf? Do the research and know the facts before you open your mouth.

My brother, Nolan, is amazing at talking to people who don’t share the same views as him. He treats them with respect and admits when he doesn’t know about a specific topic. Nolan knows his facts and when a topic interests him, does the research to know as much as he can. The opinions he forms are fact based and he can defend why he sides certain ways.

With the world in the state that it’s in, it is important to not just hear things the way we want to. It is our responsibility to be informed and make the best possible decisions based on what we believe. Treat the people you converse with respectfully. 

Home Sweet Home

I think that the best compliment Josh and I have received about our apartment is that it is, “comfortable & cozy.” Seriously, is there a better compliment? I think not.

When my family came to visit on Sunday those are the words they used to describe our place… as they were becoming engulfed by our couch. Haha. It was wonderful to see our family relaxing and enjoying the space that we have worked so hard on.

So today I spent some time taking inventory on what it is exactly that makes our space so perfect and inviting.

First, we have this fabulous couch. It’s the size of a three cushion couch, but on the left side is a chaise. Atop the couch are eight pillows of varying sizes and textures. There is no reason to be uncomfortable as you sit upon our couch.

If you were to catch a chill, at the foot of the chaise you will find a basket filled with plenty of blankets. They are incredibly soft and huge! Josh and I have a very specific sense of touch, so we are very picky about the blankets that are in our home. So when it comes to something cozy to cuddle up in, you will be spoiled!

Then we also have worked hard to set a relaxed atmosphere. The walls and shelves are filled with pictures of our families and most amazing memories! There are candles everywhere setting a comfortable and home-y tone.

I LOVE our home! I think that it is so important to fill your space with things that make you comfortable and happy. You deserve to have a place that you love coming home to.