Being Independent

Something that I never realized would be an issue in my marriage is. Josh and I both struggle with asking each other for help, or leaning on each other when we don’t feel great. Isn’t that silly? We’ve been together for years and we still are so used to being independent.

I realized that this was an issue the other night when out of nowhere Josh said he had a headache and that was why he was being so difficult. Did he think I was a mind reader? Of course if I knew that his head hurt I wouldn’t be expecting him to be fun and goofy. All he needed to do was tell me.

Another instance that really woke me up to this situation was last week when I had a muscle strain in my hip flexor and could barely put weight on my leg, let alone walk. I spent most of the night in bed and icing my joint. The thought of getting up for water was awful but I felt so ridiculous asking Josh to get it for me. So I got myself up and Josh immediately offered to help me to which I denied his help! How silly is that?

Being married means that you are there for your spouse 100% of the time. Those moments when you need someone to assist you, those moments are where your spouse can step in. It isn’t a sign of weakness (which is what I felt) or a sign that you can’t pull your own weight in the relationship, and it certainly doesn’t make you needy.

When I finally came to the conclusion that if Josh and I would just ask each other for help, or make our health known, it could prevent a lot of misunderstandings and frustrations. So we talked about it, and agreed to work harder on letting each other step up.

There will be times when you need your spouse and they will need you. Take care of each other.