Changes

For the first time in my life, I am so excited about the changes that are coming up for Josh and I. This is completely unlike me. My personality tends to fear change and cling to what I know and love. So for me to be able to admit I am excited about changes that are heading my way is an exciting development for me.

I believe a huge reason for my changed opinion on change is my relationship with God. The changes Josh and I are going to be tackling are moving to a new city, he’s starting a new job, and I feel there is a something happening career-wise for me too (although I don’t know what that means).

When I first began thinking about these changes, I would just cry. I did not want to leave this comfortable life we have here in Madison. I didn’t want to live in a city where we didn’t know a soul and try to make our way. It was terrifying for me.

Honestly, a lot of the time, the fear I had towards these changes was debilitating. It would knock me out and completely derail my day. I couldn’t stop dwelling on the unknown and no matter what I could not get out of my own head.

Being the type of person who like to handle things on my own, I struggle in a big way bringing my concerns before God. And I am especially bad at praying for myself. I’d rather pray for other people all day long, than ask for anything for me. After many conversations with my parents and Josh, all of which didn’t leave me feeling better, I decided I needed to pray.

I needed to give up my desire to control our future circumstances and trust that God was going to be leading us to exactly where we need to be. So I found an old journal that was mostly empty and began lifting up my concerns to God. I asked Him to completely take control of everything that I was afraid of. I asked Him to help me be excited for the move, and confident that it was where we needed to be. I asked that He would meet me where I was and help me to understand the plan He was laying before us.

Now it didn’t happen over-night, but God took my fears and mental road blocks away. And I am so happy to say that I am really looking forward to the upcoming changes. So I encourage you to bring your concerns before God. Stop trying to fix things on your own, and experience the freeing feeling that comes from knowing God has it handled.