Handling uncomfortable situations

“People are not against you; they are for themselves.”

When I first heard this quote it was at a very interesting time in my life. I was constantly being put in uncomfortable situations and dealing with individuals that weren’t very nice.

Over the past few months, I have been learning a great deal about myself and the way I handle “unpleasant” interactions. Since I have a desire to please people and don’t handle confrontation well, I am very often caught off guard when someone is rude.

I think that (even though this sounds dumb) I expect people to handle situations like I would. I expect people to be polite, accommodating, encouraging and helpful. So when I am met with someone who is the opposite of those, I generally freeze up. I don’t think on my feet well, and am left stunned by people’s negativity towards certain situations.

At first, and if I’m being honest sometimes still, I would take it personal and think that I was doing something wrong, or that I wasn’t good enough. I felt like their negativity was directed at me and that I was on some level not meeting their expectations. Well, as you can imagine that way of thinking leaves me drained and feeling inadequate.

So, after many incredibly in depth conversations, I am learning that their negativity isn’t my fault and it sure as heck isn’t something I can fix. My actions and the way I do things are not what makes people negative. It’s their own ambitions and expectations of the way things should be that cause their reactions.

It’s obviously a new way of thinking for me, so I still struggle with negative interactions, but I am getting better at asserting myself. My goal is to be able to stand up for my actions and thoughts in a polite and respectful way, while not being put down by other’s responses or opinions. And I believe the quote I began this post with is an excellent reminder of how to look at these tough situations.

(Huge shout out to my amazing husband, mother, and father who endured those countless and in-depth conversations about how I see negative situations, and for encouraging me to be myself because that is more than enough).