2016 Goal Setting

Since Christmas is over and Josh has finished his Fall semester of school, we have gotten back into the routine of working out together. Josh stumbled upon a 30-day workout program and together we have been going through it. (You can check it out here: http://imgur.com/gallery/FkVrO). I love working out with Josh because he pushes me to try harder. I don’t like being unable to do anything he can, so I do my best to keep up or do better.

With the way our healthy life-style took a back seat after Thanksgiving it feels so good to be getting back into the swing of things. I’m back to making healthy dinners, and in the mornings we push each other in the gym. My goal is that this year we get into great physical shape and work on eliminating the junk in our diets.

I also have several other goals for our 2016. In fact, tonight I want to talk with Josh over dinner about things we want to accomplish during the year. I believe that us being on the same page about what we want in 2016 is a crucial step to making things happen.

Personally, I want to take 2 trips this year. One smaller one over his spring break, and one large one after he graduates. I also want to be promoted at work and pay off my student loans.

Knowing what I want to accomplish will enable me to work harder and push myself to meet the goals. Just like working out with Josh motivates me to try harder, knowing I have things I want accomplished within the year will motivate me too.

Quirks (and my 100th post!)

Josh and I have been married for just over 6 months now and people are shocked to hear that we have not had any “growing pains.” Since we didn’t move in together until after our wedding, people would warn us that there would come a time when the quirks would no longer be cute. And to some extent they are right.

It’s really not super adorable that my husband pretends to be Shamu and splash water all over our bathroom sink but I’ve come to realize that, it is what it is. Want to know why? Because when I asked Josh to be more aware of the flooding, he gave me a counter-offer.

He agreed to wipe up the sink if I stop dumping out my glasses and leaving my straw in the sink.

That right there was a wake-up call ladies and gentlemen. My initial annoyance with our soaked sink blinded me to the idea that I could be the cause of something that bugs my husband. To me leaving a straw in the sink until you finish dishes isn’t a big deal, but to him it’s annoying. Just like him drenching our sink doesn’t bother him, but it bothers me.

This interaction reminded me that there will be things we each do that the other tolerates because they are doing the same in another way.

Besides, I’d rather wipe down the sink than nag him to do it, and I’d rather have him throw my straw away than ask me to do it.

Marriage is a give and take, in all kinds of ways.

ALSO~ Today is my 100th post! Thank you to all who frequent my blog, I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my take on things as I learn more about marriage and bonding with Josh.

The new Christmas Eve

The winter weather has finally hit Madison. Josh and I are 11 stories up and the snowflakes are dancing past our window. The sky is gray and the city is actually relatively quiet. Of course, we would have preferred having the snow for Christmas, but I think it actually worked out for the best. Since there was no snow or dangerous road conditions over the holiday, we got to spend a lot of quality time with our families and no one had to cancel due to weather.

Our Christmas was amazing. We crammed so much family time into 3 days and truly had an amazing time. It was fun to see how the traditions have shifted and dynamics have changed.

I know that I spoke about the Christmas Eve traditions my family had growing up and being sad that they have changed, but this Christmas Eve was perfect. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was almost like Christmas Eve was re-born within the family. Everyone was there, smiling, laughing, and enjoying each other.

Just like the old Christmas Eve’s, prior to dinner we went around the room and shared what we were thankful for and what we are praying for in 2016. Listening to everyone say how thankful they are for family and being together was so special. It was like everyone knew that the past year or two has been difficult but when the rubber met the road, we were all together. 

Then, we got to take family photos with my Mormor (mother’s mother in Swedish). That was hilarious and so much fun.

I loved the way Christmas Eve turned out. It was a beautiful day, and even though it’s evolved over the years, it felt like it always used to.

Oct 3, 2014

Have I ever told the story of the night we got engaged?

It happened October 3, 2014. I came up to visit Josh for a weekend and honestly didn’t think it was going to happen then. Or ever, at that point.

It was early afternoon and we were just hanging out, watching TV and snacking. Of course I wanted to subtly bring up getting engaged and that went about as well as a truck ramming through the apartment.  Next thing I know, I’m frustrated and feeling really defeated. Why? Because my boyfriend who has been telling me for months “soon” just asked me how they size a ring! If he had actually been shopping and was close to popping the question, he would know how the process worked!

I was bummed out, after 5 years of dating, I didn’t want to keep waiting.

That night it was Josh’s turn to plan a date for us so together we made dinner and then we left. I had no idea where we were going, but he was carrying a giant duffle bag. We walked for a while and ended up on Bascom Hill. We stopped and he pulled out a couple of blankets, laid one down and we on the hill.

He pulled out my favorite sour candy (Sour Patch Kids) and Coke. As we sat on that hill enjoying our treats we talked a lot. We reminisced about our relationship and where we wanted to end up. It was a chilly night but from our spot overlooking the city, it was perfect. In fact, Josh chose that spot because we used to spend a lot of time under the stars, but with him living in the city those were far and few between. So the city lights were the next best thing.

Once the cold started to settle in, we decided it was time to head out. He folded the blanket and I started to walk away. Josh called back to me and gave me a hug. He held me tight and started saying a bunch of amazing and romantic things, one thing in particular was that he is “home” when he is with me. Then Josh let go said he spoke to my dad, knelt down and pulled out a ring!

Right there, he asked me to marry him and I of course said yes!

The rest of the night flew by as we called our families and let it sink in that we were FINALLY engaged. It was the most perfect night.

Looking back, it’s funny to see how well he did hiding it from me. He even tolerated me being a pain all afternoon.

I love Josh so much and will never forget the perfect details he put into motion to make our engagement the most amazing night.

Hair? - He doesn't care

I dye my hair and have been getting it dyed since I was in Junior High. There is just something so fun about being able to change, alter, and adjust hair color.

In high school and college, I experimented a lot with different looks. I have had black, blonde, and red hair, as well as everything in between. With each new look it felt like I was expressing a different part of myself or acknowledging a change.

With my varying hair colors, my styles have changed too. Although when it comes to actually cutting my hair, my adventurous side doesn’t really exist. Basically, I have had slight variations to my “comfortable” look. I have had long hair, shoulder length, bangs, side bangs, no bangs, etc.

I think that when it comes to hair you should have fun and try new things. It’s going to grow back and if you hate the color you can always dye it again.

So why am I talking about dying my hair on a blog about being newly married? Because my darling husband wouldn’t notice my hair if I dyed it lime green and spiked it to the ceiling.

In all of our years together I have visited several spectrum's of hair style and color and my sweet man has never noticed! There is actually one distinct instance when he came over AFTER KNOWING I WAS GETTING MY HAIR DONE with his friend, his friend noticed and complimented, my man, NOTHING.

It’s so crazy that it’s actually a joke now. How he manages to not notice the differences is hilarious, but I guess that’s better than him thinking he gets an opinion on how my hair looks, haha. But am I the only one with a husband that doesn’t notice the changes? I mean seriously, check out some of these color/style changes:

Maybe I should do a post about the changes his hair has had... Yep, he had Bieber hair once...

Date Nights

I absolutely LOVE date nights! Unfortunately, with Josh being incredibly swamped with finals and their prep, we really haven’t had a lot of time to just be together.

So tonight my patience is going to pay off. We have reservations at a cute little Italian restaurant and plans to just dine. Order a glass of wine, enjoy some appetizers, and then the main course whenever we feel like it. We are going to be in no hurry and just take the time to enjoy each other’s company.

Date nights are such a critical part of a relationship; however, they are also the easiest things to push to the side.

When we were dating Josh and I didn’t spend a lot of money or time going places or doing new things regularly because the end goal for us was always to get married. (Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time while we were dating, we just weren’t frivolous). And once we got engaged, those dates became even more far and few between.

After we got married though things picked up. We were really good at having a date night once a week and making sure that we didn’t get caught up in taking care of “life:” bills, work, etc. We enjoyed day trips all around Northern WI and visit local hang outs. It was so much trying out new places and stumbling upon ones of our own.

Then we moved again and the semester kind of took over. With that we lost our routine of date nights.

I am so excited for tonight’s date and cannot wait for the quality time with my husband. Hopefully, now that things have slowed down we can get back to making these dates a priority.

(Just before we left tonight for the restaurant)

Cleanliness

I believe that there is a cleanliness threshold for each individual person. What I mean by that is everyone has a different tolerance for things that are dirty. In my marriage there are two definitions of “dirty,” the first applies to the state of our home and the second applies to the state of us as individuals.

When it comes to the filth level in our apartment, I have an extremely low threshold. I love having a made bed every single day. The family room cannot have clutter. Dishes in the sink drive me crazy and the bathroom cannot be a disaster.

My husband on the other hand doesn’t seem to notice these things. He wouldn’t care if the bed was never made and he’s the culprit of clutter in the family room. And as I have mentioned before he is the reason our bathroom sink is always under water, (I’m convinced he washes his faces like a face wash commercial, lots of splashing).

Since, the state of our apartment bothers me the most, I head up the cleaning and work to keep the place in great condition, which is fine by me. I actually enjoy the cleaning process. It’s so satisfying taking something filthy and making it look nice again.

As far as personal cleanliness goes, Josh and I are once again opposites. Except you may be surprised to find out, he is the one more concerned with it than me! (Now before you go thinking I don’t believe in hygiene, know that I do, and I shower every day).

The difference lies in speed to get clean. When Josh and I work out he has to shower IMMEDIATELY afterwards. Whereas I would rather get other stuff taken care of first. I don’t see the point in showering right away when I am just going to be washing the floor or doing dishes. I’d rather get all the gross chores done and then clean up. Josh would be happy just showering multiple times.

I think that this area of our marriage is funny. It’s interesting to see how our preferences play out and just how differently we look at things.

Football

Football plays a big role in my relationship with Josh. He is a hardcore Packer fan and I love my Steelers.

In our 6 years of being together, our teams have played each other twice. The first time was a regular season game in which the Steelers came out on top. Unfortunately, the second time our teams met was in the Super Bowl, and the Packers took that game.

Our love for football has expanded over time from our individual support of our teams to actively participating in fantasy football together. We have had a league for about 3 or 4 seasons now, and until this year my skill level has been nothing to speak of. Luckily, that has changed!

Right now I am in the Semi-finals! Woo hoo!

I am the only girl to make it to this stage this season, and I am so excited. My goal is to meet Josh in the Championship game and kick his butt! Haha.

When Josh and I first began playing fantasy football together, he would help me draft my team and set my line-up. Now, I am able to do it all on my own. I have figured out how to research draft strategies and the players. It’s so much fun having some level of vested interest in the other games, and it gives Josh and I a fun level of competition.

I love our football Sundays and the “scheduled” time I get to spend with my hubby and bond with him. I think having something you can enjoy with your spouse is so special.

Christmas gift buying

Are you done with your Christmas shopping?

We are! Finally! O my goodness do I hate taking this long to complete my shopping. I mean, it’s 10 days away. Just being done now is so not what I am used to.

So why did it take so long this year?

Well, the whole process has changed, I’m married. I am no longer making decisions on my own when it comes to buying gifts because my name isn't the only one going on the "From:" line. And this year I am learning that this is one of the goofy things that Josh and I handle differently. 

I absolutely love to be done Christmas shopping as early as possible. If I had my way, I would be done every year by Thanksgiving. My darling husband is cool with finishing his shopping on Christmas Eve. So now that our finances are joined, things get handled differently.

When it comes to gifts, I tend to get an idea for a person and just go for it. There is nothing more undesirable to me than fighting the crowds as the holiday gets closer. Josh on the other hands, likes to research, lay out the pros and cons, and then make a decision. So coming to conclusions on what to get people together took a little bit longer than I am used to. (Plus I had to compete with finals for his attention to make gift choices).

Buying Christmas gifts together was a great experience and a learning one. I think it’s another one of those things that we get to learn about each other’s quirks and over time, come together on the best way to accomplish it.

With all of the gifts purchased and wrapped, we are so ready to celebrate our first Christmas together!

Christmas Eve Past, Present, and Future

Last night was a late one. Josh picked up on a subtle mood change I had and asked about it. At first I owned up to feeling kind of sad but said that I wasn’t sure why. He looked at me again and said he didn’t buy that response. So I opened up.

With the holidays upon us there is a lot on my mind and yesterday in particular I was really bummed out that Christmas isn’t like it used to be when I was a kid.

Growing up we spent Christmas Eve at my Mormor and Papa’s house (Mormor is Swedish for Mother’s mother). We had a huge Swedish meal, meatballs, ham, potatoes, Limpa, lutfisk, lingonberries, etc. All of the adults (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) would be upstairs laughing and catching up, and Christmas music played in the background. Downstairs all of us kids would play and watch movies.

Before dinner everyone would gather around the table and we would have a “thankful ceremony.” Mormor would start with what she was thankful for and then use her lit candle to light the next persons and this would continue until we made it all around the room and Papa would close it off. Then we would pile our plates with the food we only got once a year, and I mean it when I say plates too, it didn’t matter how many people were there, every person had a real plate and silverware. After dinner the women would all help clean up the kitchen and us kids could get out of our fancy clothes and put on pajamas.

It was a really wonderful time every single year. Unfortunately, things don’t always stay the same. When I was in high school my grandparents moved and then they began to suffer medically. My mom took over the tradition and it still is a wonderful time, but I miss the way things used to be and it’s really weighing on me.

So last night I shared all of this with Josh in between tears. I kept getting frustrated at myself for being unable to talk without sobbing. Thankfully Josh stopped me and said it was ok to be emotional. He listened to my stories through my crying and then what he had to say was perfection.

He said that it’s normal for me to feel this way and that the way he saw what I described was cyclical. When I was growing up I got to be the kid, experiencing Christmas Eve from that point of view. Now that we are married that Christmas Eve is not existent. The family dynamic is shifting. Our role is in between that of young adults and parents/aunts and uncles.

Hearing his take on the situation made me feel so much better. While I still desperately miss those perfect Christmas Eve’s of my childhood, I know that we simply have a new role to fill. Christmas and Holiday traditions are beautiful and although they shift and change, the memories will last forever and will always be cherished. 

(Pictured: Josh & I Christmas Eve 2010)

Laugh

My husband and I are goofy people. In our relationship there is a healthy dose of ridiculousness, humor, teasing, and randomness. On any given day, the odds of catching us doing or saying something we wouldn’t replicate in public are high.

Laughter is a common noise coming from our apartment as we are constantly amazed by one another’s ability to expand on the regular amount of goofiness.

Josh is hilarious. He has this knack for taking the things I say and making them sound incredibly funny. Unfortunately, a good amount of the time I set him up to tease me. For example, I am BEYOND ticklish. The other night he started to tickle me and of course I thrash and try to get away, in the process I also said, “DON’T TURKLE ME!” Well, my pleas and thrashing didn’t get him to stop but my inability to say the word tickle did. He then proceeded to do his best impression of me and laugh.

 

Our marriage is a lot like a comedy show. We are always making each other laugh and having a good time.

This trait in our marriage comes in handy when I am facing a difficult time or am upset. My personal comedian of a husband always listens to what is on my mind and then frames it in the most hilarious way possible. I am one heck of a blessed lady!

I love the laughter that exists in our marriage and pray that as the years in our marriage stack up, the number of laughs we share does as well.

Work with the Willing

I’m in the middle of learning a difficult truth. You cannot help people who do not want to be helped.

In my line of work, the goal is to help people take back their lives, increase their finances, and fulfill their goals. Unfortunately, I am often left wanting it more for someone than they want it for themselves.

There always seems to be some grandiose excuse as to why going after what will be better isn’t a priority. The most recent excuse I have received is, I am too sick, I can’t even work at my real job! Ahem, that SHOULD be a driving force to take a closer look at what I do and help others do.

Last year I was sick for a week. Now I understand in the grand scheme of things this isn’t very long, but it still was bad. I couldn’t take calls, attend events, and barely wanted to get off the couch. It was a horrible sinus infection coupled with severe nose bleeds, (I’m talking horror movie coming out of my face bad), several times a day. During that week I couldn’t work, but thanks to what I have been able to build through Nerium, I still got a pay check. That’s amazing and life changing.

On a more personal note, when it comes to the people I do get to work with, I dedicate a lot of time to helping them and meeting them where they are. I love to invest in the relationship and truly get to understand them. So when I am forced to realize my desire to see them succeed is greater than their own desire to succeed, I am disappointed. At times I even take it personally.

Thankfully, I get to call the most level-headed person I know my husband. When I get frustrated and upset by scenarios like the ones I described, he is always there to remind me that everyone has to make their own choices. There is nothing I can do to help someone who isn’t ready to accept help and put in some work.

It’s definitely not a truth I enjoy, but it’s one I cannot wait to understand. Until then, I will work with the willing and be a light to those who aren’t ready.

Post-It's

I’ve mentioned before that I love surprises, and I LOVE doing unique things to make my husband feel loved and appreciated.

Josh is in the midst of finals right now and when his head isn’t in a book, he’s sleeping or eating. His commitment to preparing for these tests is unlike anything I’ve ever seen, especially since I am a terrible study-er. Since he has been so overwhelmed by his prep, I wanted to do something special for him.

So I decided to take something I saw on Pinterest and make it my own.

This morning Josh had a test so he was asleep super early! Which made my surprising him really easy! I got to wait to pull it off until he was asleep, and then there was no risk of me spoiling it because he would have seen it by the time I woke up.

So here is what I did. I took a bunch of Post-It Notes and on each one wrote a positive comment or affirmation. They were things like: I love you, graduation will be worth this, you’ve got this, etc. I then took them into the bathroom and arranged them in the shape of a heart. My original plan was to put them on the living room window, but with it being winter the odds of the notes sticking was slim, so the bathroom mirror was the next best choice. (In hindsight, I wish I had cleaned the bathroom mirror because they didn’t want to stick there either, but that’s what tape is for).

I think it’s the little things that mean the most, and I hope that since I was not awake to wish Josh well this morning, he knows I was thinking of him. Plus, reading positive and encouraging words before something big like a final can really help you get in the right mindset. 

Storage

Storage is not something of abundance when you live in an apartment. Josh and I are very fortunate to have 3 closets in ours, but with one being in the kitchen (making is a pantry of sorts), and one being in our bedroom, we are left with only 1 closet that could be considered for storage.

I hate that closet. Its dimensions are weird and it has 3 shelves installed so that it cannot be adjusted.

In the beginning it was great, everything was able to fit in boxes on the shelves and items like the vacuum fit nicely in front. Well, now that we are accumulating more things like holiday decorations, fans, things we had stored at our parents, luggage, and other stuff, that closet is my nightmare.

I am an incredibly organized person. Nothing makes me more upset that knowing something is not set up to the best of its ability. I like things to be functional and neat. That closet is anything but functional and neat.

I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to re-organize that closet, but nothing helps. I understand that it has everything to do with our accumulating extra stuff, however the stuff cannot be thrown away. None of it is garbage.

So for now I am forced to just ignore that stupid, messy closet. And if I ever need anything out of it, my lovely husband has volunteered to be the one to dig stuff out because his patience is much greater than mine.

I cannot wait until we live in a place with more storage options, like our own garage… Soon!

Christmas Gifts

This is my first married Christmas with Josh and I have put a lot of pressure on my gift giving for him. Since he is still in school we are on a very strict budget and have given each other only a certain amount to spend on each other this year. Which you may think would be helpful, but it’s not.

You see, Cyber Monday was a wonderful blessing and I was able to purchase TONS of great things for Josh. (Which I will not share here because he may read this prior to receiving the presents). I blew through a large portion of the budget I have for him and while I have a lot to show for it, none of the things I bought are all that memorable.

What I really want is to come up with a unique gift that he will love and always remember. I would also like it if it would last for years. I have visions of him saying, “O, that? My wife gave that to me on our first Christmas.” Or, “For our first Christmas my wife gave me this awesome (insert cool gift here).” So as you can see, I have put an immense amount of pressure on myself to find something perfect.

I have combed websites like, Amazon, Etsy, Pinterest, and Groupon, searching for something that may spark my imagination and lead me to come up with that elusive gift. So far nothing has helped. Even though there are things I really like on these sites, I can’t commit because I don’t know if it actually is “perfect.”

I know that at the end of the day Josh will be happy with the gifts I do give him, and whether or not they are sentimental and timeless is not a concern for him, but man do I wish I could figure out something.

Wish me luck!

People watching

Basketball games are interesting places. If you take a moment and look around the gym, chances are that you will come across some super hilarious interactions, reactions, and more.

Tonight I went with my parents to Aidan’s sophomore basketball game and it was quite the experience. Unfortunately, the game ended in a loss but it was a great game which led us to decide to stick around for the varsity. Which of course is when a lot of crazy things happen.

I for the longest time didn’t know where to look. There is the obvious answer, the game, but with so much happening all around the gym my attention was drawn elsewhere.

First there was the student section, which was HUGE. Marengo has always been good about showing up for athletic events, and tonight was no exception. The students were clad in maroon, bandannas, posters, and their most important thing, LOUD voices. They were chanting, cheering, taunting, and legitimately screaming. The students were hilarious to watch.

Then there are the coaches. Our schools coach is incredibly loud, and he has to be in order to communicate with the boys. He is very theatrical, loud, and commands your attention. The opposing coach was a side-show. I think he spent more time on the court than his players did and he was not the nicest person from what I could hear in their huddles. I think that coaches are excellent sources of entertainment.

Of course, referees are no exception to being the subject of attention. From crappy calls, to arguing with players, there is nothing like hollering at the ref and watching them try their hardest to ignore everyone.

And I could not post this without mentioning the alumni who are in town visiting from college watching their old team. Re-living the glory days, thinking they could do better. I really don’t even need to expand on this, do I?

Tonight I was in for a real treat though. Directly across the gym on the other set of bleachers was an older woman, and clearly an avid fan of the other team. With each call against her team, she would flail her body and yell at the referees. I have never seen an older woman react in such a way, and it was comical.

I highly recommend taking a look around at the next big public event you are at, specifically if it’s a sporting event. The things you can pick up on are priceless, and if your team isn’t doing hot, it provides you with something fun to pay attention to.

I miss you

Today I decided to go stay with my parents for a few days. Now before you assume that it’s because of marital problems, catch yourself because that couldn’t be further from the truth. You see, I am a SUPER chatty lady and enjoy being social. My husband at this time, is studying for his fall semester finals, and that does not mix with my need to talk NON-STOP.

Last night, Josh decided to skip his Wednesday and Thursday classes to study for his Saturday final and I decided to give the two of us being in the apartment and productive a whirl. By noon today, I decided that wasn’t going to fly for the next three days. You see he has been trying to balance school, studying, holidays, and me, resulting in his studying taking the back burner which I am afraid could affect his scores. So when I was working on the couch next to him and kept having the urge to stop his productivity to talk, I decided that I should give him some space.

Since I have to work this weekend at my monthly training event, I decided to come down to stay with my parents early. Especially since my mom needs help decorating the house for our Christmas Eve event, Aidan has a basketball game, and like I said, I have to work on Saturday.

Being back at my parents has left Josh and me revisiting our “dating days.” We text frequently and much like when we were dating, we would call each other prior to falling asleep. It’s kind of hilarious. I’m even in my old room (which has been remodeled to be Nolan’s new room).

Now this isn’t the first time that I have been away from Josh, it’s the second. I went away for 4 days to attend a company event in Dallas, but for some reason this time is super difficult! I miss my husband so stinkin' much!

Josh and I spent 5+ years dating, 4 of which were long distance (1.5 hours or more away). We did the daily texts and nightly chats, the weekly visits, and the longed for school breaks. We have been married for just over 5 months and I am missing Josh more than I can ever remember missing him.

I look at my relationship with Josh and think about how I miss him, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will love this man forever. He is my other half and I love that I have him to miss.

under the weather

I am not great at being sick. Yesterday I woke up feeling under the weather, you know puke-y and headachy. Josh told me to just take the day to relax and feel better, but of course, I did nothing of the sort.

Sitting around when I feel under the weather is awful. Especially when I feel like I did yesterday, bad enough to not want to do anything, but not so bad that I can’t do anything. So I decided that I needed to go shopping. With Christmas around the corner, an empty fridge, and 2 rolls of toilet paper, it truly was a NEED.

So I bundled up, had some juice for the sugar and calories, and made my way out into the world. Was it the best idea? Probably not, but I was determined.

I hit 5 stores yesterday! 3 for potential gifts, ALDI, and Woodman’s. As you can imagine, the grocery shopping was the brunt of my day. I completely filled the trunk of our SUV with food and drinks.

It was a long day, but super productive! And being out and about made me think about other things than feeling crappy. That is until I got back home and realized Josh was at the library studying for his finals and I had to get all the groceries up to the 11^th floor on my own. 4 elevator trips later, and our apartment was filled with bags of food.

As I put away the groceries, I got so excited. There is something amazingly special about being able to fill up the freezer, cabinets, and pantry. It’s a beautiful reminder at how blessed Josh and I truly are.

Unfortunately, my decision yesterday to forgo relaxing and to push myself to get things done has left me feeling even worse today. Thank God I am able to work from the comfort of our couch and my pajamas. I love that my work doesn’t have to skip a beat when I don’t feel 100%, and knowing that my little family is provided for is an amazing gift from God. 

Christmas Decor

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it is officially time to get ready for Christmas! Since this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, as well as the first majorly decorated holiday, we have been having a lot of fun.

Before our wedding and even after, family members decided to downsize their Christmas decorations so we had a pretty good start. Our tree is a hand-me down from my grandparents. It’s a cute pre-lit tree that stands about 3 feet tall. The ornaments we have are either antiques from my grandparents, ones my mom gave from her stash, or gifts we received during the pre-wedding events. We also were given a few Christmas serving dishes, and candle holders.

The rest I went out to purchase. I found our stockings at Hobby Lobby. They are so cute! One is gray and the other red with complimentary wood scenes. When it comes to lighting, I went overboard, partially because I forgot the tree was pre-lit. I bought 8 boxes of 100 mini lights. And of course, you have to have a poinsettia and I found one for super cheap at Wal-Mart.

We decorated yesterday night. Josh put extra lights on the tree, and together we hung tinsel garland and lights around the windows in the family room. On the windows we hung silver snowflake ornaments with fishing line, and the stockings are hung under one of the windows. Our tree is decorated with a mixture of the antique ornaments, gift ornaments, and ones my mom gave us.

And of course, we have winter-scented candles throughout the apartment that give off the most amazing scents! I love our Christmas wonderland. It definitely makes for a memorable first married Christmas.

Now to stay under-budget with gifts for my husband… (Thank God for Cyber Monday!)

31:10

Over the weekend I began thinking about Proverbs 31, in particular what it means to be a Proverbs 31 wife. So I have decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to study and understand that chapter in the Bible.

My goal is to take one verse at a time and break it down. I want to understand the specific meaning of the words used. I want to compare the historical significance of certain ideas with what would be their current equivalent. Ultimately, I want to learn how I can implement what the passage says and grow as a wife.

Yesterday I began my Proverbs 31 journey and already am completely amazed by what I discovered. So I want to take you through my process.

Proverbs 31:10            “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies.”

First I decided to define “virtuous” and “capable.” (I used the Webster’s Online Dictionary). Virtuous means, “having or showing high moral standards or chaste.” Capable means, “having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to achieve a specified thing.” These definitions alone opened up a new level of understanding on the verse.

Then I wanted to have a clear knowledge on the term “moral” as found in the virtuous definition. The definition of moral is, “concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.”

I was fascinated. These definitions brought to life a verse I have read probably hundreds of times. It is building a great foundation for the rest of the chapter.

However, I didn’t stop there. My next thought was, “Why is the virtuous and capable wife more precious than rubies? Why not diamonds?” In our culture diamonds are symbolic of wealth, engagement, marriage, and status. It’s rare to hear (if ever) that a person wants a ruby. So I wanted to know why that stone was the one used in comparison.

So I hit google and stumbled upon a website that talked about the various stones mentioned in the Bible. I learned so much about rubies! I had no idea that rubies are the rarest precious gemstone in the world. The website said that diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires have been found weighing hundreds of carats, whereas a high quality ruby weighing even 20 carats is rare! Also, the price of a gem-quality ruby will far exceed the price of an equivalently sized diamond. Who would have thought?

No wonder Solomon compared a virtuous and capable wife to rubies in expression of their rarity.

In one day it already feels like I am learning so much about what kind of wife I am called to be. It has been a long time since I have taken the time to work through a particular Bible verse or passage and I am thrilled to be going through Proverbs 31.

The ultimate goal for me in this process is to be the wife the Bible describes. I want to honor God and my husband through my role as a wife. I encourage you, married or not, to explore the calling God has given to us as women.

Thanksgiving

This year will be my first Thanksgiving as a wife! Josh and I will be celebrating the holiday with my parents and brothers. Since I no longer live with my parents I decided it would be time for me to start assisting in the preparation of food.

My mom is big on everyone having the dish that makes the dinner “Thanksgiving” to them. She likes to make sure the holiday is special for all of us. For her and Aidan its green bean casserole, (not on mine or my dad’s top 10). Dad and I like sweet potato casserole, Nolan likes dinner rolls, and Josh likes pistachio pudding salad.

Since her and my dad will be taking care of the turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and other assorted sides, I volunteered to make sweet potato casserole, the pudding salad, and a pumpkin pie.

I have never made any of those things before.

It will be an interesting holiday dinner for sure, haha. I did my research and found recipes for each dish and went to the store to buy all the ingredients today.

The sweet potato casserole and pudding salad should be easy, but I was nervous about the pumpkin pie. Emphasis on the word “was.”  As I passed by the freezer section I noticed a box of frozen pumpkin pie on sale for just about $3. SOLD! I figured a store bought pie would be better than a homemade pie I messed up.

I cannot wait for this holiday! It will be so nice to spend time with my family and not have an agenda. We can just relax, enjoy good food, and great company.

Coffee Stains

When Josh and I announced our marriage and got to figuring out where we would live, several people joked about how “once we lived together certain quirks wouldn’t be so cute.” Well, I stand by our decision to not live together before getting married and to be honest I can only think of one little thing Josh does that drives me crazy.

Is it the water he splashes all around the sink? I mean seriously, it’s not a facewash commercial in there but you would think by the mess that it is. But, no that isn’t it.

Could it be that he leaves his school stuff all over the family room floor? Nope, it’s not that either.

The thing that drives me crazy are the coffee rings.

When we got engaged I started collecting furniture and re-fashioning them to fit our style. Well, I fell in love with this 1970’s square coffee table with the original diamond shaped hardware. I painted it this amazing color blue and just adore this piece of furniture.

My dear, sweet, husband unfortunately has a habit of not using coasters. So in the morning while he enjoys his coffee (not very carefully) rings of spillover form at the base of his cup. He then proceeds to forget that he didn’t wipe the table and by the time I get to it, the rings have stained the paint.

I have re-painted that table 4+ times in the 5 months we have been married and it drives me crazy.

Thankfully, it’s not the end of the world and not the worst quirky trait possible.

I wonder what he would say my most annoying trait is….

He sees right through me

My husband can read me like a book. There is seldom a time that I am able to conceal my inner thoughts and feelings. No matter the reason or mood, Josh can look at my face and know if there is something on my mind or heart.

Sometimes he even can recognize traits about myself that I have not realized. Last night was one of those times. He was home for the day working on things to put himself in a good place for the end of the semester, so I kept myself busy working and taking care of my own things. At the end of the day he looked at me and simply asked if I was ready to talk.

So I did. I spilled the various things that were on my mind and causing me to have anxiety. Granted none of them were huge/major or life altering, but they were enough to leave me uneasy. I told him how I had handled each situation, and he confirmed that what I did/said was correct, honest, and above reproach. While his confirmation made me feel better, it didn’t take away my uneasiness.

Then he really got it. He looked at me again and asked me, “Why are you so afraid of conflict? What do you think is the absolute worst that could come of each of these situations?” I racked my brain and honestly, any scenario I came up with didn’t make sense but I looked at him and just said that I could not handle the idea of someone not liking me, or being angry with me.

He heard what I said and pointed out that I don’t have those same concerns with everyone, but rather just the people I’m friends with or those in my extended family. After going back and forth together trying to “hit the nail on the head” as to why I let small disagreements become huge in my head we came to an interesting point.

There are scenarios in my past where I have been tossed out by people who didn’t share my ideas/opinions or those of the people in my immediate family. There have been times I put myself on the line for people who later betrayed me. These instances have left me with wounded and I never recognized that.

I am not typically someone who strays away from my strong and passionate ideas, but lately I am very gun-shy. After talking with my husband about all of these scenarios I realized that I have to re-learn that it is OK to disagree with people I love and not worry about being abandoned by them.

It’s interesting to go back and realize that the situations I lived through are now impacting my life and the way I handle tough situations. I have to go back to my strong and passionate self and not allow myself to be stifled by anxiety or worry.

I adore the fact that my husband can read me. I love that he can see straight through my exterior and understand the desires and fears in my heart and soul. Having him there to help my better understand myself and work through weaknesses in my life is an incredible blessing. Being able to be 100% authentic with him is perfect.

Our marriage has only enhanced Josh’s ability to understand me. Marriage is such a beautiful gift and I look forward to growing closer to my husband.

Debating/Conversing

One of the many things that make relationships great is that we all have differing views and opinions on things. Maybe it has to do with the way we were brought up, or perhaps it’s something we pick up over time, but the opinions we form enable us to have in-depth conversations on topics that actually matter. (I don’t know about you, but I’d rather talk to someone on a real level than a surface one, any day).

However, since we have differing opinions on hot-button topics, I think that it is important to recognize this and take a look at how you present your ideas. I can sit back with someone who has the exact opposite view point from me and truly have a pleasant conversation. I can also have a really negative experience doing the same thing. That is why it is important to tread lightly in those scenarios.

If you are going to step up to the plate and discuss something with a person whose opinion is not the same as yours, it is important to be smart about it.

Do not go into the conversation like a bat out of hell, trying to prove your point to be right while belittling and attacking. That makes you look bad. If you can’t support your opinion while keeping a level head, maybe you shouldn’t talk about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and chances are they have valid reasons for feeling that way. You don’t have the right to be rude to someone based on a differing opinion.

The next thing you should be aware of is your knowledge level on a topic. If you enter into a conversation and all you can do to support your views is say something like, “I don’t believe that’s the way it is” you look uninformed. If you have a strong conviction one way or another, be informed about it. Have facts to back up your views. And PLEASE do not speak on someone’s behalf by saying, “I don’t think so-and-so would do/say that so that’s not right.” Who are you to speak on someone else’s behalf? Do the research and know the facts before you open your mouth.

My brother, Nolan, is amazing at talking to people who don’t share the same views as him. He treats them with respect and admits when he doesn’t know about a specific topic. Nolan knows his facts and when a topic interests him, does the research to know as much as he can. The opinions he forms are fact based and he can defend why he sides certain ways.

With the world in the state that it’s in, it is important to not just hear things the way we want to. It is our responsibility to be informed and make the best possible decisions based on what we believe. Treat the people you converse with respectfully. 

Home Sweet Home

I think that the best compliment Josh and I have received about our apartment is that it is, “comfortable & cozy.” Seriously, is there a better compliment? I think not.

When my family came to visit on Sunday those are the words they used to describe our place… as they were becoming engulfed by our couch. Haha. It was wonderful to see our family relaxing and enjoying the space that we have worked so hard on.

So today I spent some time taking inventory on what it is exactly that makes our space so perfect and inviting.

First, we have this fabulous couch. It’s the size of a three cushion couch, but on the left side is a chaise. Atop the couch are eight pillows of varying sizes and textures. There is no reason to be uncomfortable as you sit upon our couch.

If you were to catch a chill, at the foot of the chaise you will find a basket filled with plenty of blankets. They are incredibly soft and huge! Josh and I have a very specific sense of touch, so we are very picky about the blankets that are in our home. So when it comes to something cozy to cuddle up in, you will be spoiled!

Then we also have worked hard to set a relaxed atmosphere. The walls and shelves are filled with pictures of our families and most amazing memories! There are candles everywhere setting a comfortable and home-y tone.

I LOVE our home! I think that it is so important to fill your space with things that make you comfortable and happy. You deserve to have a place that you love coming home to.