Open up the communication

Sometimes keeping your feelings to yourself isn’t what is best for your relationship.

You may think that not sharing is your way of keeping the peace, not creating an issue where one isn’t really warranted, or just maybe not worth it. I’m going to encourage you to know that it is so worth it.

There will come a time in your relationship when things aren’t going as planned, and you will get bummed out. It could be that your spouse said he would be up for grabbing dinner out, but once he gets home from work he’s too tired to do anything but order a pizza and crash on the couch. Or maybe you were expecting to go out and do something fun, but your spouse’s plans didn’t coincide with that. It happens to all of us. And unfortunately, if it happens when you were really looking forward to time with your spouse, it can be really disappointing.

You may spend the rest of the night trying to not make it a big deal or act like everything is fine, when deep down you are sad about it. If you are anything like me, you aren’t saying anything because it’s truly not a big deal and your spouse has been working so hard you would feel bad to make it an issue.

Well, not saying anything can really hinder your relationship too. You can feel when things aren’t right in your marriage and while you think you are preventing a problem; you really are putting a wedge in between you.

There is nothing wrong with saying something to your spouse. Now, you don’t have to be rude or mean about it, but just coming clean and saying how you feel can ease the frustration.

I bring this up because it happened to me yesterday. I was so looking forward to Josh coming home from work and hearing about his outing with the Firm, but was so disappointed when his exhaustion kept him from even staying awake. I tried my best to “roll with the punches” and let it go, but I was sad about it. He’s been working so hard lately I was looking forward to some down time together where we could just catch up and chat.

My husband knows me super well, and could tell something was up despite my insisting that I was fine. As we were getting ready to call it a night, he hugged me and said “I know you’re upset, please tell me why.”

I didn’t want to. At all. And I even said, “I don’t want to tell you because it’ll make me feel bad!” But he asked again and assured me not to feel bad. So I told him. I said that I was really missing him, and sad that he was too tired when he got home to catch up. He completely understood and even said he was bummed too.

I am so glad that I shared. It was a really great moment and Josh reminded me that he would rather be told what’s up than allow something to fester and create a bigger issue later.

So share your feelings. Don’t let something minor get ignored and become something big later.